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Sunday, March 13, 2005

Sex please, I have flu 

It had got to the point of no return.

There was nothing left.

An empty fridge, a barren freezer, and amazingly (for me), getting low on supplies in my cupboards.

I had to brave it and stock up on food and groceries, crappy cough and all.

So, after almost a week of getting to know my duvet intimately, I ventured out to my local supermarket to do a quick shop and get some emergency essentials.

Even though I still feel and look under the weather, I must be getting over my flu (or else am full of pheromones), since two guys proceeded to have the following conversation about me down one of the aisles:

Male #1 after having walked past me three times whilst checking me out (to Male #2): "Well, would you?"

Male #2 looking at my arse (loud enough for me to hear): "I would"

He smiles at me and then looks at my breasts through my t-shirt. "With pleasure"

Male #1 nods affirmatively. He joins Male #2 in the dairy section, and they grin at me.

At that precise moment, my flu decides it would be the absolute perfect time to exit my body via a retching-type loud throttling hacking, that can only be described as similiar to the sound of an antelope having it's throat bitten into by a leopard and gagging for it's final breath.

Not sexy.

Especially with added sputum.

Sorry, too much information? Tough shit: I am living with this fucking flu, so you'll all have to too, especially since you wanted me to update.

Anyway, I am busy hacking a good ole' flem-filled cough (oh yes, and a sneeze too, for added sensuality) and the boys scarper.

Can't blame them really. I am not at my sexiest with a runny nose it has to be said.

Although, thinking about it, I remember shagging this guy once, and I was literally dripping onto him. And not via the usual, pussy-waterfall either. No, I was in full-on cold mode: my nose was like a tap and no amount of tissues was drying it up.

But he didn't give a shit: just pulled me down onto his cock, gripped me harder and told me,

"A good shag'll bring it out of you"

Amen to that.

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