Saturday, March 05, 2005
"He's a lovely guy"
"He sounds like it"
"It's such a shame, he's been in a state for a while now"
"So it wasn't amicable then?"
"God no. She was a complete bitch to him. They haven't spoken for months"
"Poor bloke. He's been taking it badly I imagine?"
"Well, they were together for over a decade. And now they hate each other"
"Fuck, that's horrible. I can't begin to imagine what he must be going through now"
"Well his self-esteem has taken a hit, but he's doing a bit better now"
"Good for him"
"But you know, what he really needs?"
"A shag I bet - lots of meaningless shags"
"Yup. He hasn't been single for a very long time - since his early 20's - got no confidence with women at all now"
"Fuck, he missed out on the mid-twenties shagging around thing then?"
"Exactly. She was the only person he slept with that whole time. And now he's got a lot of catching up to do"
"Poor bloke. I feel for him"
"He's very cute you know"
"I'm sure he is"
"You'd like him"
"He sounds like a decent chap"
"You two would get on brilliantly, he'd have you laughing all night"
"Er, where are you going with this?!"
"I think you know"
"You want me to shag him don't you?"
"Oh come on! It'd be a win/win situation!"
"Not necessarily true"
"Well for starters he's just come out of a long term relationship"
"And therefore he's in need of some fun. I know you would make sure he had that"
"Well yes, but no. You underestimate where his head might be at. He's hurting right now - having a shag might just screw with his mind, rather than help him"
"Ok, true, but I also know that he's not looking for anything meaningful, so a quick shag might give him the boost he needs to feel happier about himself"
"Well, fair enough, in terms of ego boosting I suppose. But I still think it's dodgy: a one-night stand with a girl he picks up in a bar is probably a better idea"
"But he's got no confidence to do that, he's been 'out of the game' for more than a decade: what makes you think that he would be able to even chat up a girl?"
"Fair point. But the fact that he knows you and I know you, would put him in an awkward situation don't you think?"
"Not at all. The very fact that I know you both means that neither of you are some random fuckwits. He would relax with you more I think, than with some stranger"
"Why? You're a nice person, relaxed, laid-back, friendly. You wouldn't take the piss out of him, or take advantage of him And you are good in bed - well you sound like you are anyway"
"All true, cheers! But you are forgetting one very important factor"
"What's that then?"
"He's only slept with one person over the last decade"
"And, faced with another woman, he might feel unconfident..."
"I doubt it"
"Hear me out..."
"He might worry that he won't be able to satisfy her. How can he know that the skills he has used on the same woman over the last ten years will transfer to another woman so readily?"
"And even though he may be totally wrong, with that in mind, he may end up losing his erection, or coming too quickly, or, even, not at all"
"True. But knowing you and the kind of sex you like having, you'd just end up doing something else and still having fun, right?"
"Yeah, of course. It's no big deal to me, whatsoever. But for him, perhaps it may be a different story. He may feel embarrassed about it, and because we both have you as a mutual friend, it may worry him that his 'prowess' or lack of, gets 'reported' back to you"
"I see what you mean"
"What I am saying is, if he were to go soft with a stranger he picked up in a bar, he might not give a shit, because he would never have to see them again. But being with me, and knowing me, through you, is a different matter"
"I agree with what you are saying. Really. But I still think he would be up for it. He'd like you, I know it. And you two could have some fun together"
"How do you know he'd even fancy me?"
"Come on, what's there not to fancy? You're intelligent, sexy and have big tits. He's into buxom women big time"
"Well, that's a starting point I suppose. But who's to say that five minutes into a conversation with him, that I don't find him yawningly dull and he doesn't find me brain-numbingly boring?"
"Oh for fucks sake Girl. I know both of you, you'll get on like a house on fire, trust me"
"Ok ok, enough said. But honestly though, he's not looking for anything serious right now is he? Because I don't wanna go there if he is"
"No, not at all. You would be like a happy flame lighting up his life and helping him to move on"
"You make it sound like he's a charity case"
"He is. Come on, he's gorgeous, funny, sexy and broken hearted. And you need a shag. How can you say 'no'?
"I dunno about this"
"Oh come on! Think about it, ok?"
"Alright. I'll think about it..."