Up until my early 20's, every blow job I had given had been forced upon me.
Fellatio, as far as I was concerned, involved some form of coercion or physical force.
Every act of putting a mans penis in my mouth was a reminder of what I disliked about sex. I felt humiliated, dirty, used.
And every time I did it, I felt disgusted. Not only with myself, but with the guy: how could something so revolting turn him on?
Even when boyfriends, whom I cared deeply for stuck their cocks in my mouth I hated it. It wasn't a way of them showing me they loved me, that was for sure. I never enjoyed doing it, I loathed doing it and dreaded the moment when my partner would ask me to suck him.
That is, until I met DK.
DK was a stunningly handsome man. His eyes shone so brightly and he had the sexiest laughter lines around them. We used to sit up all night arguing about politics. He was, like many Mid-West Americans, quite intelligent, reasonably educated, but fucking ignorant. He truly couldn't see beyond the USA, had been brainwashed by the right-wing media and was unable to see that there was life beyond Capitalist America and it's sad Dream.
Anyway, you can imagine our rows. Bitter to the end. Especially because at that point in my life I was reading a lot of Marx and Chomsky and thought I had the answers to everything. So we'd fight and fuck. And boy was the fucking good. Very passionate. Very heated. Very political:
Me riding his cock whilst digging my nails into his chest: "You surely don't believe that the pursuit of financial wealth is the answer to Americas problems? As if by making all poor people rich, you'll get rid of class oppression or racism?"
Him, grabbing my hips, pulling me deeper onto his cock: "You want to tax everyone and stop people having the money they've worked for and that they deserve. Why should poor people get handouts? They should just work harder, then they'll have the same chance as everyone else to be happy."
Me, pumping him hard: "Oh shut the fuck up and fuck me"
And so we did.
We literally shagged each others brains out for many months, arguing and fucking. And it was with DK that I learned how wonderful and sexy blow jobs could be.
DK loved oral. Let me clarify that. He ADORED cunnilingus. To this day I have never met a pussy worshipper like him. He would beg me to be able to put his head between my legs and eat me all night.
Now, I am not such a fan. I mean, I'll never say no to having my pussy eaten, and I do enjoy it (I've even come from it a couple of times), but given a choice between some labia licking and a hot hard cock thrusting in and out of me, it's gonna be the cock every time. I like penetration - it makes me come - a LOT.
Anyway, it'd be our little game for DK to beg and plead and he'd get stuck away, head down, as if he hadn't had a meal all day. Gold Star for enthusiasm. I would watch him. I noticed that his cock would be flaccid when he started licking me, but that within a few minutes he would be grinding himself against my bed. I soon learned that this was because he was already rock hard. When he came up for air, he cock stuck out like a fucking flagpole. I would grab him immediately, and try and fuck him, but he would always ask for just a little bit longer 'down there'. Ok, whatever, I thought, as I lay back and got licked some more.
Knowing that he got a boner from eating me turned me on. And it made me think: Why did he enjoy it? I never enjoyed sucking anyone's cock. What was it that he liked? I gave it a lot of thought. Was it because I tasted nice? (Possible - I always keep my pussy trimmed, shaved and clean) Was it because he had a fetish for pussy (Again, possible, though by all accounts he had a fetish for fucking too) Or was it because he got turned on by doing it? Maybe even turned on because he knew I was getting turned on from him doing it?
That's when it struck me. Indirect enjoyment. Non-physical stimulation. The mental fuck. He got off on getting me off. And I realised that I was being selfish. I had, for some time, just laid back, with him working away at eating and licking me, and I had never even given a thought to sucking his cock. DK had never even asked me to suck him, let alone push me down there against my will, like so many others had. And maybe because of this, I wanted to explore him and give him back, some of the pleasure he had given me.
He had the most beautiful cock. Not just because of its size, but it just seemed to be the perfect shape - for me. He kept the area so clean that I can recall how sweet his cock and balls smelled to this day. You'd be surprised how many men don't bother to wash properly, or often (no wonder I hated blow jobs so much). And DK kept the area neat and trimmed, practically no hair at all.
Let me just interject quickly with
four reasons why men should shave their genitals:
1) It'll make their cock look bigger
2) Their cock and balls will smell sweeter: hair holds the sweat and it goes rancid
3) No-one wants to be flossing whilst they eat: having a hair in your mouth while you suck, sucks
4) There will be an increase in sensation in the area: having a tongue swirl, suck and nibble directly against skin without the barrier of hair is much more pleasurable for the man
So, DK, shaved cock and balls, clean, cut, and aesthetically pleasing. So I started to lick. He tasted good. So I licked some more, this time lightly flicking over the head. DK moaned a little. Ok, going well so far. I licked from the tip to the base. DK shifted his hips slightly, so his balls were under my tongue. So I licked them. DK's breathing got faster. I opened my mouth, and enveloped his balls inside it. DK gave an approving sound, so I sucked them a little. He moved again so that his balls were above my nose. And this is where I learned about the perineum and the delights that are the base of a man's penis. I sensed DK wanted me to explore the area, and so far, things were going ok. I wasn't on the verge of puking, DK's breathing was heavy and his cock was rock hard. All good then. I licked the underside of his balls. He shivered. I moved down and nuzzled my nose against his balls. He groaned. I nibbled the base of his cock and licked his perineum and he literally started spasming, his gyrations were so extreme.
Aha! I thought, this would be it then. DK's 'button' (I believe that everyone has one place on their body that drives them absolutely fucking wild. The joy is to find it). And, from future experience,
that most certainly was DK's button. But I didn't just stay there. No, the point of the button is to
occasionally press it, not go overboard and only focus on that one spot. So, I alternated between sucking, licking and nibbling the head of his cock, sliding as much of it into my mouth as possible, gripping it with my hands, lashing it with my tongue and swirling my tongue around the underside of his cock, balls and perineum.
And I was rewarded in more ways than one.
Firstly DK was going absolutely crazy: thrusting his hips in the air, groaning hard.
Secondly I was soaking wet.
I didn't know if it was turning DK on that had got me horny, or whether it was just having something so delicious in my mouth that had got me off. But whichever it was, I was hot as hell and wanted to fuck him.
Which, as if he read my mind, DK knew, grabbing me and pulling me up over him, sliding me onto his hard cock. We rode each other for a few minutes, then climaxed together. Lovely.
Not much has changed for me since then. I love giving blow jobs now. And it still makes me wet. I find it hard to give one for a long period of time actually, because it gets me
so horny I just want to slide myself onto them and come hard. But I do try to hold off and have occasionally seen one through to 'completion' without interrupting it with the needs of my pussy. (Although I made sure that got seen to soon after, don't worry).
And when, some time later DK and I fucked again, we found ourselves to be arguing once more. Though not about politics: it was over who got to suck the other first.
I seem to recall us ending up at a tie: we had a lot of 69's, DK and I...
Next Episode in a few days.