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Monday, February 14, 2005

Taming the shrew 

After much deliberation today, with my good friend Rentboy, I have come to some (admittedly limited) conclusions about men and their approach to a particular type of woman.

Not based on any scientific research mind.

Just my experience, the opinions of my mates, and the honesty of some total random strangers I have met and who allowed me to grill them about their thoughts on sex.

So, when faced with the possibility of having sex with a woman that has had a lot of lovers, it seems men generally tend to fall into three categories:

1. The intimidated Man

Although perhaps turned on by the woman's sexual confidence, these men are essentially put off by the woman's sexual history, because they find it daunting that she might have more experience (read, better skills) in bed than them. They might want to be the one with the sex tricks, not be the one learning them. They worry (quite unnecessarily so), that they won't be able to satisfy her in bed, so they back away from exploring any intimacy with her, both physical and mental. (That's not to say they don't frantically masturbate thinking about her though).

2. The confident Man

These men are not intimidated by the woman's previous sexual history. Rather they are turned on knowing that the woman has had a lot of lovers. They equate this as her having a high sex drive and assume that they are then almost guaranteed a good fuck with her, feeling relaxed about their own sexual ability in bed at the same time. Being driven by their focus to shag her, rather than connect with her mentally, means they may not achieve any intimacy with her. Also, since their expectations of her sexual prowess might be unrealistic, quite possibly they will end up being disappointed, because the reality doesn't match their fantasy. (Again, some frantic masturbating involved, but it usually occurs prior to the sex and rarely continues after it).

3. The Man who wants to 'tame' her

These men are neither put off by, or highly turned on by the woman's previous sexual history. Instead their challenge is to try to make the woman become monogamous - with them - thus proving that their own sexual prowess was enough to make the woman 'settle down'. Again, their expectations might be unrealistic: if a woman is in no hurry to enter a long-term relationship, then no amount of devotion to her pussy will make her give up her lifestyle. (I am assuming some regular masturbating occurs here too, but most likely involves the addition of a picture of a white picket fence and a dog).

In my experience, most men fall into the (1) group, when faced with a sexually confident/experienced woman. Next in line are the number (2)'s, and lastly the number (3)'s who are only a couple in number and I've only bumped into a few times.

I have nothing against any of these men I have described - in fact I have occasionally, (wistfully) wished that a few more number (1)'s would give me a chance - but I am still hoping that a man would say to me:

"How many partners? I really don't care actually. Let's just get to know each other, and see if we have a connection, ok?"

So, which one of the above are you/ is your partner?

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