You wanna know how drunk I am right now?
How about if I tell you that I got on the bus, got all the way home, got the keys out to open my door and then realised: I wasn't supposed to stay in my place tonight, (I am currently house-sitting for a mate, local to me (and with easy-access-to-porn-via-broadband, haha)). So when I got back to my place, I had to then bloody jump in a cab to go 'home', again.
Dammit. I must be reading too much Unluckyman
, or something, his misfortune seems to be rubbing off on me.
But thankfully not totally, it seems, as I had a wonderful rest of the evening.
A lovely friend invited me to an 'alternative' type party tonight. All the people there were open minded: a few sex-industry types, some media-whores, lots of cool-laid-back people. So much so, that they thought nothing of my writing a sex-blog.
It was so
liberating to be able to tell people, it was wonderful.
Noone judged me, or thought I was peverted or obsessed, or was threatened by my talking about sex. They were interested in what I had to say: I was a normal
girl to them.
I felt like I was home
And I got hit on too. Boy oh boy. (Well, girl oh girl as well, considering that two women also gave me their numbers and made me promise I would call them). Which makes, er, 4 or 5 new numbers in my phone? I dunno. Too drunk to remember. All good fun though.
But, more importantly, for the first time in a public (ie. non-web-based) situation, I 'came out' about what I write about, and the world didn't collapse around me.
Which makes me think that perhaps I am not so different, maybe I am not as weird as I worry I am, and that perhaps I should relax a little and give people a little more credit. [Although I should state that I didn't actually tell anyone what my blog was called, or my real name for that matter: I still have to be careful about such things].
But maybe a point will come where I can
be who I am, be able to say what I feel, feel safe to express my desires and not be scared that other people will run a mile, (or, perhaps more worrying, be malicious with their knowledge about me and try to use it against me).
If the positivity I felt tonight is anything to go by, then this moment is not far off.
I can't wait.