Jerking a guy off has to be one of the most underrated aspects of sex.
It's not as widely discussed (amongst women) as shagging or blow jobs, that's for sure.
But being able to pleasure
a man, just by stroking his cock, I think is an achievement, and not one that is fully recognised.
Not that I have always been confident about using my hands.
In fact, for many years it was the thing I felt least
confident about, probably as a result of a lover saying to me when I was 18 and enthusiastically tugging away at his member,
"You're not very good with your hands, are you?"
Needless to say, it made me self-conscious and nervous about touching a man's penis for quite
Until I spent the night with L.
We had met at a singles night in a club. He was tall, baby faced and blue-eyed. 5 years my junior, L had a naivete and innocence about him that I found very appealing and made me smitten almost instantly. Plus his sexy Northern accent whispering sweet nothings in my ear helped.
We made our way to my place and proceeded to get stuck in to each other. For someone so young, he sure knew what to do with his hands: within minutes he had me writhing around on the bed, shaking, shuddering and grinding my teeth in ecstacy, climaxing over and over again. It was only fair that I did the same for him in return.
Now, up until that night I was still nervous about giving a guy a hand job. I was terrified that the guy would go soft as I stroked him - a clear indication of bad technique I presumed - I couldn't bear the thought that my lack of skills would turn him off that much. So, if foreplay was involved, I would always head straight for a blow job: an assured way to turn the guy on (and not proved wrong yet, but that is besides the point).
Anyway, I had been doing some research. Yes, that's right. Research
. For months I had been reading up on the internet, watching Sex Tips For Girls
on tv, and cutting out bits of women's magazines (that I found in offices, dentists, etc). Anything that related to having hands on male genitals I was interested in. If it was about perineum caressing I wanted it. Ball squeezing, I wanted it. Even Prostate stimulation. I wanted to know it all. I was damned if I was going to let my insecurity prevent me from being a good lover, so I made it my priority to find out as much as I could.
Now all I needed was someone to practise
And there was L, lying in my bed with a raging hard on.
I got myself ready.
That is, I got the tube of lube in my hands and squirted a large amount onto them and rubbed them together.
A few words about lube:
I will not be the first sex blog, nor the last to sing the praises of lubricant. Lube is great. We all like lube. But for a good
hand-job, lube is essential
. Yes, you can stroke a cock without it and it'll still be enjoyable: after all, men do this to themselves on a regular basis. But add some slick, slippery wetness by using lube, make your hands feel like a pussy gripping his cock, and he won't forget that hand job in a hurry. Well, that's what I reckon anyway.
So, I'm sitting there, astride his legs, his hard cock just in front of me, between my thighs. He's lying back, relaxing, hands behind his head, smiling.
Deep breath. Me, that is. (I was nervous, remember).
I reached down with my right hand, palm facing his cock. I was dying to try the technique involving the reversal of the 'normal' hand position, so I gave it a whirl. Basically you turn your hand so that your thumb is at the base of his shaft facing him, and your fingers are at the base facing you. Then you slowly pull your hand upwards until you reach the top. Then you twist you hand so that your palm swivels on the head and your thumb now faces you. And then you stroke downwards. Repeat a few times. Then alternate with each hand: when your palm is on the head, have your other hand ready at the base of his cock ready to come up as the other goes down.
So I am there, alternately stroking his cock with one hand, then the other, starting off really slowly, and making sure my well-lubed fingers were caressing every bump and ridge as they moved up and down his cock. He loved it. Really. I was amazed at the response. His cock was rock hard in my hands, his balls tightly tucked up underneath, and he was grinding his hips in towards me whilst groaning loudly.
It worked then. Hooray. But I wasn't finished - he may have wanted to come - but I wanted to try out all my new techniques on him. And try them out I did.
Next up was the Basket Weave, or Double Fister. Basically you clasp your hands together, fingers intertwined, as if you were praying (to the God of Cock - the only deity I believe in) and slide his cock between your hands. You keep the 'opening' up top where your thumbs meet, tight, so when you slide your hands up and down his shaft, the soft skin between your thumb and forefinger will feel similar to the lips on a pussy. Especially if your hands are nicely lubed up.
So, I am gripping him with both my hands, sliding up and down his cock whilst squeezing my hands together. He most certainly enjoyed that. I even got to see the whites of his eyes as he thrashed about my bed.
But I still had more techniques to try. And, if I am honest, I was enjoying teasing him: he was on the brink many times and I would keep slowing down to allow him to catch his breath before continuing again. I wanted him to come - just not yet.
Next up was the Firestarter. Not my favourite, but nice for a quick change and a different sensation in the area. It involves holding your hands horizontally adjacent to his cock, so that your thumbs face the ceiling and your little finger is parallel to his body. Basically, you're pretending his cock is a stick with which you have to 'rub' to make a fire. You roll his cock back and forth between your (very lubed up) hands. Not something to do for long, but fun all the same.
L certainly liked it: the amount of pre-cum coming out of his cock was immense.
But I digress. More techniques! (I was a very busy student that night)
And so there was 'Countdown', so called because time will most certainly run out before you've finished. This one was the cherry on the cake for L: he loved it.
You grip their cock as 'normal', but instead of the regular up/down motion, you only go UP. Each stroke is in one direction only. For 10 strokes. Then you go DOWN. For 10 strokes. Then up again. but this time for 9 strokes. Then down again, for 9 strokes. And so on. Theoretically you are counting down to the point where you get to 1 UP, 1 DOWN. (L got to around the 5 point).
There I was, with one hand I was stroking L up and then down, with the other I was first holding his balls, then tugging them gently, then stroking his perineum, and then, finally, sliding my well lubed index finger into his arsehole stroking his prostate lightly as he moved his body back and forth against my hand.
I've never seen a guy come so hard: the force, the spurting, the entire body clenching up. He even dug his nails into my wallpaper (and left scratch marks) and he gritted his teeth as he let out this animalistic groan. It was great. I had no idea that he would enjoy it so much: the new techniques had worked!
We saw each other for a few months after that, and because he would always ask me for a hand job when we met up, I was finally able to get the practise I needed and gain confidence in being able to masturbate a guy to orgasm.
I've never looked back.
But, like Superman without his suit, without some lube I feel incomplete and unprepared: I haven't quite mastered the dry hand job thing (and still resort to blow jobs in some cases to get a guy fired up).
Whenever I have sex with a guy now, I almost always
ask him to masturbate in front of me. Partly because it really gets me off watching him play with himself. And partly because by watching, I'll be able to get an idea about his own personal technique - his pacing, speed, rhythm etc.
And since each guy is different, there's no end to the amount of knowledge one can learn in this field.
Ever the willing student am I...