Sunday, February 27, 2005
No, thank you
Getting turned down for sex by someone can be a difficult matter.
One has to deal with the initial rejection, then the bruised ego, then the disappointment and insecurity that follows.
It has to be said that this isn't a common state I find myself in. Without wanting to appear totally up my own arse with a huge ego, I have to say that in my experience, most men I have met and come on to, do not turn me down when faced with the possibility of getting in my pants.
But when they occasionally do (yes, even The Girl gets turned down), I tend to deal with them saying "No" to me as a temporary setback: if I got hung up on every rejection I experienced I would be a quivering wreck by now. So, I usually let the let-down go over my head - onwards and upwards and all that. If it wasn't meant to be, then so be it.
Still, when faced with three rejections in a week, like I have just had, it seems that maybe I should be giving this state of affairs (so to speak) a bit more thought.
Surely something must be up for things to go so wrong?
It all seemed to be going so well.
I had decided recently to approach matters of the heart and body a little bit differently - not putting all my eggs in one basket, and taking up opportunities as they were presented to me, rather than holding out on one, and letting the others fall by the wayside, like I have done previously.
That way, if one situation didn't have a positive result, I would have others to fall back on. A 'Reserve Shag' if you will. Not that I was looking for more than one shag, just that I was keeping my options open in case my preferred one fell through.
So that is where I found myself: three lovely men, all with great personalities, fantastically sexy and seemingly interested in me too. Some vibrant dates were had, some snogs exchanged, and some heated words said.
Things are looking up I thought.
I have been left not only empty-handed, but empty-pussied and somewhat red-faced too: all three said 'no' to me.
In order of preference:
Man # 1: very intelligent and cute. But as I made moves to kiss him, told me that he preferred to, "just be friends" from now on. Result: Gutted.
Man # 2: sweet and kind. I cuddled up to him in stockings, a see-thru pink camisole and a wet pussy. He told me he "didn't know what was wrong", but that he, "just didn't feel anything". Result: Confused.
Man # 3: funny and dirty-minded. Aside from the regular rude texts he sends, not much else happens. He told me he was "too busy" to get together. Result: Frustrated.
Now, I know in this blog I have talked about how much I would like a relationship, as opposed to a meaningless one-night stand. And I still do - in the long run - but won't rule out other possibilities, (like a fling with someone), in the meantime. I am optimistic that a relationship will happen at some point - with the right person.
But now, right now, I want a shag.
I want to be pulled against someone, while they grip my body, and grind their cock against me. Have them devour my mouth with their tongue. Rip my clothes off with force. Grab me and press me against them tightly. Squeeze my tits and pull on my nipples. Grip my arse hard. Slide their fingers along my pussy and shove three of them inside me. Lift my leg around their hips and push their hard cock so far inside me, it makes me gasp. Pump me till my legs go weak and I can hardly stand. And fuck me so hard that I dig my nails in their back and draw blood. And finally, wonderfully, thrust inside me so much that I come like a fucking train.
I want to be fucked.
It's all very well bashing my vibrators and dildos, but I need cock. And won't be fully satisfied till I have some. It's been months: I need to feel like a woman again.
And I really thought that at least one of my possibilities would result in some action. But I was wrong. On three counts.
To misread all three situations so incorrectly surely must tell me something: either I am thinking with the wrong head (er, pussy), or all the planets are out of alignment, or I must have lost my groove or something.
Probably the former: I can't think straight right now.
Here's to a clearer head, post evening frig/s.
And to the hope that another situation will present itself to me shortly.