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Friday, August 13, 2004
And I know its probably not the best thing to do, certainly in the long term, but since when did logic rule my decision making? Am feeling frustrated right now and confused about things. I need clarity in my life, not flitting between this anger and sadness bullshit that has been my world post-SP.
So, I have decided to have a rebound-fuck with someone else . I need to de-fuck myself of SP. To know that I can get off on someone else. That I am not dependent on SP for fantasy material for playing. That I can get some physical release without emotions attached.
I am not closing my mind to meeting a new guy (fresh meat!) and possibly having some fun, but in all honesty (given my emotional state right now) I don't know if I am up to doing the whole bar, pub, party thing in order to get laid. It'd be much easier and simpler with a past lover and I need the least amount of complication in my life at the moment...