I’m not sure when it was that I came to the conclusion that two men having sex together was sexually attractive to me, but I am certain of one thing: I know it turns me on
– a lot.
Maybe the seed was planted many years ago, when my boyfriend T dropped it into the conversation one night:
Him (grabbing my hips, pulling me harder onto his cock): ‘Do you remember that guy at work I mentioned? The one who winked at me?’
Me (fondling his nipples): ‘Yeah - the cute one?’
Him (squeezing my arse): ‘Him. I think he flirted with me yesterday’
Me: ‘Oh, really? I bet you liked that, ‘eh?!’ I winked at him.
He looked at me for a moment as I rode his cock hard. ‘Yes, actually I did. It gave me a boner.’
For a moment, my brain flickered into gear and the reality of his statement hit me. I felt a tiny surge of jealousy, of insecurity, of anxiety. And then I became aware of another feeling; something much more overwhelming than the brief questioning in my head: the intense throbbing and wetness between my legs.
I carried on riding him and feeling his cock pulse inside me, I wondered how best I should approach this new information; whether I should coax out his feelings about it; or perhaps just tease him. ‘It turned you on, did it?’ I asked him, a slight smile on my face.
‘Yes’ he replied softly, ‘it did’. He pulled me even more deeply onto him and I was sure his cock felt harder inside me than it ever had before. Clearly he was enjoying the thought of another man. And, I was surprised to discover, so was I.
‘So’ I continued, ‘if he were here now, what would you do?’
He paused for a moment, looking unsure how to respond. I smiled at him and he visibly relaxed. ‘Well’ he said, cautiously, ‘I’d like to feel his cock against me’.
‘And then?’ I asked. ‘What would you do then?’
‘Then I’d like to stroke it’ he said, ‘maybe feel it in my mouth.’
‘Mmm’ I replied. ‘Feel it rub against your lips’.
He nodded and pumped his cock harder into me.
‘Would you like to suck it?’ I asked. ‘Run your tongue all over it?’
He nodded enthusiastically and we both ground our hips together until we climaxed simultaneously.
After we caught our breath, I tried talking some more about his desire to be with another man, but he kept changing the subject. It was only years later that he finally felt able to explore this side of his sexuality and by this time, our relationship was long over.
A few years later, I was offered a threesome with two guys that I met in a nightclub. Stupidly I told my friend K about it, thinking that she would be as excited as me by the offer.
‘Yuck!’ she exclaimed, ‘what happens if they touch each other?! That would be disgusting!’
Of course, being a twit and somewhat insecure at the time, I turned the guys down, and regretted it for years. (I still do).
But K’s response wasn’t out of the ordinary: ask any of my mates – even the ones I consider ‘liberated’; the progressive women, the open-minded men – and they’d all recoil if I suggested
1. that I would like to fuck two men, and
2. that it would turn me on if they touched each other too, and
3. that I would be happy just to watch the two men touch each other
But on the contrary, if I suggested
1. that I would like to have sex with a man and a woman
2. that it would turn me on if me and the other woman touch each other
3. that I would be happy if the guy just watched me and the other woman touch each other,
I know for definite, that my female friends would blush – and then say ‘I’ve always wanted to try that!’ and my male friends would say ‘Go for it! Can I watch?!’
Whilst I wouldn’t say no to a little girl-on-girl action in my life, you would find me eagerly shouting ‘yes, yes!’ to a little boy-on-boy. Forget lesbianism: what could be better than more than one cock? It’s twice the pleasure; double the fun.
But it seems that for a woman to admit that she likes homosexual sex – watching or participating - most people would assume that she’s talking about lesbian sex – in fact it’s almost expected: a liberated woman + healthy sex drive x open-minded sexuality = lesbian tendencies. And in straight porn, it’s all directed towards men of course, as the women smile coyly at the camera and beg the (off-screen) man to ‘cum and join us’.
Why is it considered acceptable for women to dabble with other women, but not men to dabble with other men in heterosexual society? Why should lesbianism be the only gender exploration in straight people’s beds? Why is it so taboo for a man to want to explore another man?
I’m not going to even begin to explore these issues: it’s misogynist heterosexist hypocrisy and unless I am plied with at least five whisky sours, I don’t think I should delve into this topic now – I’ll only get annoyed.
But aside from these issues affecting society at large, I am more concerned with how they affect me. Or in other words: will I ever find a bloke who shares the same interest in his being with another man?
I would love to meet a guy, who, in a relaxed manner says ‘sure, I’d try a bloke; I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to suck a cock’ and then fuck me hard as we talk about how we might fulfil this mutual desire.
But I’m not optimistic about finding such a guy. Whilst I am very open about sex and my sexuality, I can honestly say that having a desire for my partner to fuck another man is not something I bring up in conversation with men that I meet, with any regularity. I wish it was. But I think I would scare the majority of men off if I mentioned that
1. I think about cock all the time
2. I would love to have a threesome with two men
3. I want to settle down and have kids
Which are the three things that occupy my mind on a regular basis.
Aside from my being a sex fiend and needing a shag three times a day, but I think that can be dropped into the conversation a little bit more easily.
Especially if I’ve plied the guy with plenty of alcohol beforehand.