‘So, let me get this straight’ I said, taking a large gulp of my whisky sour. ‘If your cock is hard when you’re with a woman on the first date, then that means you will ask to see her again?’

JN nodded. ‘Yes: if something’s there, then I’ll want to follow it up’.

I pondered this for a minute. ‘So if you don’t get an erection, you don’t bother calling her?’

‘Well, yes, I suppose you could say that’ JN agreed.

‘What if she’s really funny or you have loads to talk about; doesn’t that matter? Surely that should be taken into account, aside from you getting the horn for her?’

‘You’re not getting it’ JN said, exasperated, and took a long swig from his pint of beer. ‘Having a hard-on isn’t just about thinking she’s physically attractive and wanting to fuck her’.

I was confused. I was certain that of all the times I have been faced with a man whose cock is hard, it was because he wanted to fuck me; what other reason would he be erect (bar a medical disorder)?

I questioned JN further. ‘So if it’s not about wanting to fuck her, why should a second date depend on you having an erection during the first one?’

‘It’s about chemistry’ JN replied. ‘I know it’s good because I’ll get a hard-on with a woman; if we’re connecting – mentally – then I’m going to be attracted to her. Hence the erection; it’s a good judge of the spark between us – if my cock gets hard, I know I like her and want to see her again.’

I thought about this for a moment and suddenly an image of the BBC’s Peter Snow entered my head. I giggled out loud as I imagined him pointing out the increase in male attraction via an Erection Swingometer.

‘What are you laughing at?’ JN interrupted.

Not wanting to tell him about my Cockometer© (I’ve found it’s best not to joke about men’s genitalia except when with solely female friends), I was instead, liberal with the truth: ‘It just seems funny that you would be sitting there with a woman on a first date with a hard cock in your trousers and not be tempted to ask her to touch it’.

‘Well it’s not like I’d be at full mast; it’d be a secret semi – just there for me to feel, not for her to see. Anyway, sometimes it’s nice not to act on an erection – builds it up for next time.’

‘Seems like a perfectly good waste of a hard cock to me’ I said, thinking about how frustrated I would feel, not being able to touch my date’s hard-on, if I knew it was nestling between his legs, on account of me.

JN laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I still bash one out when I get home; no wastage there.’

‘I should think not.’

‘Anyway, it’s not as if it’s not the same for you – surely you get a little wet if you like a guy?’

‘Well of course I do, but I don’t really think I am the best example of female sexual response to be compared with; I am after all a sex fiend – I’m sure most women don’t sit there on a first date imagining what the guy looks like naked’.

‘You know Girl, you’d be surprised: I bet lots of women are like you – most in fact. You’re not alone in your desires’.

‘Well, maybe. I hope you’re right anyway, for your sake as much as mine’.

‘I know I am; I’ve slept with enough women to know. And on the other side, I know I’m definitely not the only bloke who gets a boner when he meets a girl he likes: all men get a semi if they’re attracted to the girl they’re on a date with’.

‘All men? All men get a stiffy with a girl they like?’

‘Yup. And those that deny it are lying, I guarantee it.’

I thought about this for a moment and wondered about all the dates I have had over the years. If JN was right, there must have been at least a few erections that occurred, which I never saw (not including the ones I had spent the evening trying to imagine of course, of which there were many).

What a shame I never knew about them; I could have had much more fun on those first dates had I been aware of the guy's predicament - even if it meant just verbally teasing him.

Clearly I enjoy using my tongue for other things too, but I do try to wait until at least the second date before sharing those particular skills.