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Sunday, January 08, 2006


‘So tell me’ I whispered conspiratorially to my friend F, ‘was there a big change in your sex drive?’

F lifted her glass and took a large gulp of wine. ‘Yes. Massive.’ She grinned at me.

‘Better, worse – what?!’

‘Well, put it this way, we were fucking right up to me being in labour.’

I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Thank fuck for that; I was worried for a minute that you were going to tell me you were one of those women that lost their sex drive.’

‘Oh god, far from it. I couldn’t get enough actually; I think I exhausted D by jumping on him all the time.’

We both laughed and I refilled our glasses. ‘I’m really relieved you said that; I was worrying that when – well, actually if - I eventually get pregnant it would turn out to mean no sex – a terrifying thought for me.’

F laid her hand gently on mine. ‘Darling, knowing you, that will never happen to you; your problem will be finding a man who will keep up with you, not the other way around.’

I giggled at F’s accuracy and felt sad for a moment: would I ever find someone like that – who would want to settle down and have kids with me - as well as regularly fuck me rotten?

F pulled me out of my brief melancholy moment, leaning over to me and whispering so quietly in my ear I had to get her to repeat what she said. ‘Being pregnant makes you wet’ she cooed softly, with a triumphant tone.

‘What?’ I was a little confused. Was she talking about some kind of extra sanitary-towel daily usage? I frowned at her, mystified.

F grinned at me. ‘You get fucking wet’ she repeated, ‘my pussy was like a river!’ We both burst out laughing. ‘Seriously,’ she continued, ‘I was continuously dripping ‘cause I was horny all the time. Thank god D loved it, otherwise I’d have been bashing my vibrator something rotten.’

We both laughed again and I took a swig of wine, which I proceeded to spit out all over my top as I giggled. ‘So, that’s good, right? I mean, the sex is still good?’

‘The wetness made it great for him, but in all honesty, I would have preferred to be a bit drier’ F said. ‘No friction, see; he may as well have been sticking a finger in there for all I could feel during the last trimester.’

‘So what did you do; how did you manage to climax?’

‘Oh I just got him to fuck me spoon-style from behind or sideways on, and I used my magic wand at the same time. Don’t worry: I always ensured I came!’

‘Damn right. So what about after the birth – did you lose your sex drive completely?’

‘Well, what with the stitches and a huge fucking thing the size of a watermelon coming out of you, it’s kind of hard to feel anything down there – besides immense pain – for around a week.’

‘And then?’ I asked, getting slightly worried.

‘Well, I wasn’t really in the mood for penetration’.

My heart sank. So, it was true: if you became a mother, then you would lose your sex drive. Great; may as well sign my death sentence now.

F took another swig of wine. ‘But gentle hands down there were fine’.

I breathed out audibly. Thank god for that. ‘So how long was it before you fucked – if you don’t mind my asking?’

‘About three weeks I guess. Although that doesn’t include all the blow jobs I gave him during that time.’

I laughed again. ‘You do realise, you are a girl after my own heart, don’t you?’ I suddenly felt a surge of emotion for F; we had bonded more deeply than ever. Out of all my friends, she is still the person I can talk about sex most openly with and I love her for it.

We carried on chatting for a while longer, until her partner came to pick her up. I watched her greet her sleepy baby in delight and I waved goodbye, feeling a small pang of sadness in my heart as I watched her new family drive off together into the night.

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