There are some advantages to being the only female on the set of a film.

1. No-one forgets my name, even with a shooting crew of 100+ people
2. Many of the crew feel protective toward me and look after me like I was their sister or daughter
3. Guys jump to my help with any favours I need (tasks to be done; heavy things to be carried, etc.)
4. I am frequently offered cups of ‘builder’s’ (very strong) tea
5. Cakes from the afternoon break on set are always saved for me
6. I get a lot of attention from other crew members
7. All the guys flirt with me which helps to relieve the boredom on set
8. I get chatted up by various crew members; given that many of the guys on set are young, fit, and strong, it's quite enjoyable
9. Being surrounded by blokes means I get to ogle bums and crotches all day and fantasise to my heart’s content
10. Whilst the men on set can be graphic and full of innuendo, my sharp sarcasm shuts them up


There are some disadvantages to being the only female on the set of a film.

1. As soon as a pretty actress walks on set, all the blokes ogle her, leaving me ignored – not helpful when I need to issue and follow instructions
2. Many of the crew are threatened by me and undermine me at every opportunity
3. Some guys will obstruct the tasks I need to do just to show that I am less competent than them
4. I get asked ‘make us a cup of tea, love’ every five fucking minutes by any number of random blokes on set
5. I rarely eat cake (or any of the other disgusting, stodgy, high-fat food we get provided with at work), so end up offending the kind-hearted men who are trying to fatten me up
6. Being the focus of attention is not always appreciated: when you look rough from working so many hours, or are feeling down, it’s exhausting having to project happiness all the time – women are expected to look beautiful in my industry, and if you don’t, you get ignored
7. Having to deal with constant flirtation distracts me from my work, plus it makes working relationships on set, less professional
8. I dislike it that middle-aged or married men chat me up; I have no interest in being their ‘bit on the side’ (a frequent occurrence in the industry). Sadly they are in the majority on the film set floor
9. Being surrounded by fit blokes all day can be frustrating because I don’t have time to relieve the tension between my legs
10. Dealing with constant sexual innuendo can be exhausting and I regularly am fending off personal attacks


But really I’d just be happy if

a) I was doing fewer hours
b) I was treated with more respect in general
c) I had a boyfriend who was willing to turn up during the ten minutes I get for lunch and sort me out with a quickie in the toilets

None of these are likely; and with my insane schedule at the moment, neither is regular blogging (or my favourite pleasurable pastime) - sadly.

Counting away the hours and days until I get a ‘normal’ life again…