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Friday, May 20, 2005


It doesn’t take much to get me going.

Seeing a handsome man sitting with his legs splayed apart on the tube.

Observing the breast jiggle of a buxom woman as she runs for the bus.

Or watching my neighbour get a blow job as he was preparing dinner.

The latter was from the comfort of my own kitchen, which allows a perfect view of the flat directly opposite.

Not that I was sitting there in the dark with binoculars or anything.

No, my neighbours have no blinds (bless them), so their activities are on display to all who care to watch.

Which is where I found myself, some time ago, transfixed by the sight of my neighbour getting his cock sucked by his partner.

I happened to be idly looking out my window, enviously eyeing up the copious foliage growing in my neighbours’ flat. Obviously green-fingered, I was thinking to myself, as I looked at the trundling boughs of ivy and ferns that hung all over their kitchen. I spotted my neighbour (‘Tall’) amongst the greenery, his back turned, preparing some kind of meal and I debated whether next time I saw him at the newsagents I should ask him growing advice, since I can kill a plant at a glance (but good with animals and children, ironically).

Then I spotted his partner (‘Skinny’) walk in. He looked like he was tip-toeing quietly to surprise him; I could see him creeping slowly into the room. I felt like I was privy to some dramatic moment – I couldn’t wait to see how it turned out.

Skinny crept slowly forwards. Tall continued chopping veg. And then, when Skinny was only a foot away, he reached around Tall and kissed his neck. I could see Tall laughing and he pushed his body up against Skinny who held him tight.

It seemed like a nice warm embrace. I felt like I was intruding a little on their intimacy and was about to stop looking, when I suddenly saw Tall turn around and face Skinny, and in a split second, Skinny was on his knees, had unzipped Tall’s cock and was sucking it furiously.

I was mesmerized.

I couldn’t move; I was rooted to the spot.

All I could do was watch.

Skinny sucking Tall deeply. Tall grinding his hips in towards Skinny. Skinny’s hands on Tall’s arse, pulling him in closer to his mouth.

Tall suddenly looked up for a moment and, as if by chance, he spotted me watching him having his cock sucked.

He smiled at me.

And then closed his eyes and thrust his cock more forcefully into his lover’s mouth.

God it was so erotic. Not only to see some form of real (non-porno) sex – unfolding before my eyes – but also to observe a couple who were relaxed and free enough, to drop everything and just have sex there and then. I almost cheered Skinny when I realised that his way of saying hello to his lover, was to surprise him with a blow job whilst he made dinner – my kind of man indeed.

This got me thinking about the mundanity of having sex in the bedroom. That the familiarity and repetitiveness of our lives can manifest itself in the way we have sex with our partners. Who honestly does not get bored from the same old, sleep, work, return home, eat dinner, go to bed, shag routine? Sure, having sex in other rooms, or at other times of the day helps to spice things up, but essentially, what seems to be missing from the sexual experiences of those in long-term relationships is spontaneity.

And this was how that spur-of the moment blow job by my gay neighbours made me realise, that it’s not so much about when you do it that matters, as what you are doing when you do it: by surprising his partner with a blow job whilst he was making dinner, Skinny ensured that as well as the sex, the chore at hand – chopping vegetables – was made more interesting and exciting. The next time Tall chopped veg I bet he got a hard-on as a result, remembering that night.

Some examples of how I would like to incorporate this into my own life immediately spring to mind:

My partner ironing some shirts. I walk up behind him, kiss his neck, caress his nipples and slide a hand down the front of his jeans, gripping his cock.

Me washing up. My partner comes up behind me, squeezes my breast, lifts my dress, bends me over the sink and slides his cock into me.

My partner dusting the ceiling. Whilst he reaches up, I pull down his zipper and slide his cock into my mouth.

All these scenarios have this in common: they incorporate sex spontaneously but regularly into a domestic routine. The outcome: spicing up sex lives and the mundanity of the chores that we have to do as well.

The only drawback I can see, is that those chores might take slightly longer than normal to complete, given the brief interruption of shagging. But with orgasms in the short term and a healthy sex life as an outcome in the long term, the temporary delay in household chores being finalised seems worth it to me.

Certainly since it takes a lot to get a Girl like me to be domestic in any way. But if some wet soapy tits and a cock thrusting inside me whilst I am bent over a sink, were offered by way of an incentive, I may just end up doing some washing up after all.

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