Apparently – and I'm not sure when this happened: maybe I'm out of the loop, somewhat – it has now become acceptable for someone to say "You look up for it!" when they are chatting you up, with no hint of irony, sarcasm or humour whilst doing so.
"Really?" I said, taking a physical step back from the man who decided to use that line on me last night and who had manoeuvered himself to the point where I could smell his (bad) breath, eg. less than one foot away from me. Too close, clearly, and certainly when you've been speaking with someone for less than a minute, invading their personal, physical space immediately is not the best way to make a good impression.
"Yes, really," he continued, "you do."
The first thought that came to my mind was, 'But I'm wearing a modest dress and a long cardigan, how can that be perceived as being "up for it"?'. My second thought was, 'It shouldn't matter what I'm wearing: you can't judge someone's sexual intent purely based on their sartorial choices (unless it's true that all guys showing man cleavage are trying to get laid?)'. My final thought was, 'I've not flirted with this guy in the slightest; I've given him no hints that I am interested in him sexually, or otherwise; the nametag pinned to my dress says "Zoe", not "Hi, I'm feeling really horny right now, how about you show me some hot cock action?" Basically, how fucking dare he be so rude?'
"Is that so?" I replied. "That's a bit presumptuous of you, don't you think?"
"Well, I'm a man: what do you expect?"
For you not to be a dickhead, that's what, is what I wanted to say. I sighed, loudly. "Yes, and I'm a woman. Your point is?"
"We all have needs" he said, grinning, and took another step towards me.
"Yes, well I need to go over there" I retorted, and headed as far away from him as I could, muttering 'Wanker!' under my breath as I walked away.
Clueless fucker. But, you know, I'm really not that challenging to approach and chat with. If that bloke had just introduced himself and then asked, "Angel or Spike?" he would have been right in there. Take note, fellas.