There are a few lessons I have learned over the years with regards to the internet:
1) Only look at porn on your own computer
2) Restrict blogging to your own computer, or whilst in an internet cafe
3) Do not leave erotic photographs of yourself on your father's computer
The last one on the list came as a short sharp slap on the face today
My dad decided to download the new Picasa photo organizer
; the software that sorts and displays every picture on your computer into nice neat little folders. Very helpful.
Unless that is, a erotic picture of me that had been lying dormant and long forgotten about, suddenly decided that now would be the time to come out of hiding and present itself in its full colour 17" glory onto the screen for my father to view.
He called me into the room.
"Girl, I think you should see this". He motioned towards the screen.
There I am, half naked, dressed in stockings, a thong and no top on, facing the wall. My arse proudly displayed for all to see, my hair ever flowing - a dead give-away as to who the semi-clad model in the picture was.
I had a sudden flashback of the night. DK ripping my clothes off, seeing my lingerie, begging me for him to be able to capture the moment on camera. Me hiding my face out of shot. Him snapping me until the film ran out, then removing my thong, eating my pussy for half an hour and finally fucking me hard on the kitchen floor. God it was a good shag.
Oh shit. My dad is looking at a picture of my arse. Fuck
. I couldn't deny it. That butt was mine
"Erm. Oops. God I didn't even know that was on there. Er... ha ha?"
He carries on facing the screen. "What's that doing on my computer? Who took it?"
I racked my brain to come up with the most valid and feasible answer. Nothing sprang to mind.
"A mate took it. I forgot he sent it to me. Thank god it's just my arse eh?" I tried to laugh it off.
My mother then walks into the room.
Oh great. Both
my parents looking at a picture of me wearing stockings and a thong, sticking my butt out sexily. Fabulous. I couldn't wish for a better moment.
"Why have you got a pornographic picture of yourself on this computer?" my mum asks me.
I get defensive: "It's not pornographic, it's my arse! Just a bum. It's harmless, a bit of fun. It's not like you can see my face!"
My mum looks at me, her face goes a little crimson.
"I hope you're not using it on one of those sites to... you know.... get men
", my dad stutters.
"Nope I'm not", I grinned at my mum, "at least... not anymore
My mum grinned back, and for a moment I'm sure she beamed at me, with what seemed like a little pride. Here was her daughter, brought up to respect her own sexuality and be proud of her desires and wants, being her own woman, and carrying on with what she had fought and struggled for in the 60's. She smiled at me and I felt she understood me; it was a brief but powerful moment between us.
My dad however stayed po-faced and silent. Then he stood up and started to walk out, with my mum following closely behind.
"Perhaps you might want to get rid of it?" he said, as they left the room.
I immediately sat down and deleted the photo. And then searched through his entire computer to see if there was any other remnants of my using his computer years ago. Thank god there were none. (At least I couldn't find any pictures of erect cocks, maybe I was more careful back then than I recall). So the damage limitation was minor: my shame survived another day.
But I have been left with the awareness that my parents know a little too much
about me now, more than I want them to. It's not that they are at all prudish or old fashioned, or even disapproving of my having a sexually active lifestyle; the opposite in fact. But having them see
the evidence of my sexuality thrust in their face leaves me (and I am sure them too) feeling uncomfortable.
I am happy to be a liberated Noughties woman and I know they are proud of me for doing so; I just would have preferred my arse to have stayed out of the picture. (Fine butt that it is, if I say so myself - it's not a view I often get to see).
Still, I have learned my lesson here: if you are going to have erotic pictures of yourself (or others) sent to you, either ensure you download them directly onto your own computer, or just erase all traces of them after viewing them if you are on someone else's. This obviously does not apply to viewing erotica at work: you do this at your own risk. Happily there is a answer wherever you might be: the Delete History button. It is your friend - make sure you use it...