Broadband is EVIL.

After spending years on dial-up internet access, I have for the last few weeks, had broadband, and I can honestly say it has changed my life.

Now I can research for information at super quick speed; check out famous works of art in all their glory without having to wait half an hour for the picture to appear; and download new music from unknown artistes in a matter of minutes.

Oh yes, and spend every fucking free second I have looking at porn: it's just everywhere, and for a sex fiend like me, it's like setting me loose in a sweet shop - so much selection, so much to taste, my appetite is never sated.

And not only that, if anything, having access to free/quick/good quality sexy images just makes me even hornier than I normally am (if that is possible).

So, I am trying to limit the time spent online right now. Trying, anyway. But faced with -

This sexy guy sensually pleasuring himself on video (ladies, look how slowly he strokes himself - so sexy - I challenge you not to climax simultaneously at the end of his 5 minute play);

A selection of male masturbatory techniques (ladies: watch and learn, men: there may be new ones in here for you to try);

Various ways men climax (again, a few lessons for all in there)

- well, it is easy to see how I might get sidetracked.

So with that in mind, I am going away for a while, partly to get out of the inner city grime, and partly to be somewhere without internet access, phone reception, or pornography so that I might look out my window, see some greenery and be inspired to fill my laptop with words, and not any more moving images.

I'll be back in a few days; in the meantime I have a favour to ask of you, my readers:

Can every person that visits my site, when you arrive, please scroll to the bottom of this page and have a look at my hit counter. If you are the 400,000 person, please could you make a screen-shot of it, save it and email it to me. I haven't mentioned this to appear arrogant or to brag about my stats; this is just about my getting a little (ego) stroke of my own - I never in my wildest dreams thought that my little blog would have that many hits.

So thank you in advance to whoever manages to snap the milestone figure, and to those that don't, thank you for visiting anyway.

xx