I’m not a very superstitious person. I’m not of the belief that if I walk under a ladder, break a mirror, or step on the cracks on the pavement, that bad things will come my way. Nor for that matter, will good things come my way, should I have 3 fiddles before I leave the house, wear matching black satin bra and panties and stare at men’s crotches all day. (I should know, I’ve tried)

But I am a believer of fate. Call it what you will – destiny, karma, the cycle of life – it all comes down to my own personal belief that what you contribute to the world comes back to you in some way: positive energy breeds positivity, negative energy breeds negativity.

[That’s not to say that people deserve any kind of tragedy in their lives, whether it be illness, misfortune or unhappiness because of something they have done. Far from it.]

I think in the smaller scale of things though, the karma rule applies: if you treat people with respect, dignity and honesty, then you will be rewarded with the same back.

And in the bigger scale – relationships, work, sex - what goes around comes around: when one door closes, another one will open. That all of life’s experiences are for a reason. That things can and do, get better.

So it is with this thought that I find myself now, in a period of transition; at a crossroads. A door in my life has recently shut. I am more than a little scared. But I am excited too. I have the feeling that the next few months will be a huge learning process for me, filled with challenges on both a professional and personal level. I look forward to this, and am intimidated by this, equally.

Maybe my life was fated to be this way – to be in this place, here and now – to be trying to find some answers to all the questions currently swimming around my head.

Or maybe things are just fucked up, I am at a loose end, and am attempting to put my usual positive spin on the world to help me cope. I don’t know.

But what I do know is, though there are many doors behind me right now that seem firmly shut, locked, and with no access to the keys, all that means is that many more must lie ahead of me, waiting for me to open them: another relationship, a career, some kinky rampant sex – all these things are waiting to be discovered, explored and incorporated into my life. I hope so, anyway.

And I also hope that I will have to have the courage to go seek these things out, to be perceptive enough to know when I encounter them, and also to be able to embrace them when I do find them: opportunity is one thing, missing the chance to take it when it comes along, is an entirely different story...