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Monday, April 25, 2005

In between 

It strikes me that of the men I have met - where sex has been on the agenda - they tend to fall into 3 categories:

1) Wanting to shag me senseless on a one-night-fuckathon now

2) Want me to be their girlfriend now

3) Wants to be with me until they meet the right woman

I have had my fair share of number 1's in the past; although they can be massively fun, I don't tend to have them nowadays since I find they make me feel emotionally empty in the long run.

I have also encountered quite a few number 2's and tend to steer clear of these too. Whilst being very complimentary having such interest from someone, I feel very uncomfortable with their being absolutely certain that we "are made for each other" after having only known me for 24 hours.

As for the number 3's, well let's just say that I have met many of these. I seem to represent the perfect ‘in-between’ woman, the one to follow on from a messy break-up and to use to prepare him for another proper relationship. I have spent time caring about a man/shagging him rotten/making him laugh, and the immortal words "I'm just not ready for a relationship yet" have rung in my ears many times, only to be followed with the "and now I've met someone else, you understand, right?"

It can get annoying investing energy into a situation that is destined to go nowhere, even if the end result is another woman getting a 're-worked man'. But I don't resent her getting him; on the contrary, if I can send a more emotionally connected/better pussy eater/happier man onto another woman, then great. Spread the love I say.

And in my search for a partner, I have of course had the in-between guy myself, where I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be in a relationship, but quite happy to enjoy being with someone in the meantime. It can be fun, not too emotionally heavy and who wants to turn down great sex on a regular basis?

Sometimes though, being the in-between can be a little annoying, especially if the other person is in denial about how they feel about their last relationship. This happened to me recently and got a little messy:

This guy and I had known each other a little while and had finally agreed to meet up one night to shag. I made sure all bases were covered: see-thru basque, stockings, tiny g-string, knee high boots, condoms and lube. Let's just say I like to come prepared.

It started off well: we kiss, clothing is removed, I go down on my knees and suck his cock. He puts a condom on, pushes me onto my front, slides his cock into me and begins to fuck me from behind.

I climax.

He grabs my hips and pushes himself deeper into me.

I climax again.

He fucks me a little harder.

I climax again, this time utilising my cock-eject squeeze mode ™ as I shudder all over the place pushing his cock out simultaneously.

Then he tries to enter me again, but instead, goes soft, and then proceeds to tell me that I remind him of his ex and that he is too upset to shag.

No matter how horny, how sexy, how hot the moment was, there is nothing like the passion killer of the ex being brought into the bed too; we lay there for an hour or so talking about how broken hearted he was – not exactly the aphrodisiac one wants in this type of situation.

I did wonder what I was doing there listening to some guy pour his heart out to me about his ex, whilst I should have been getting a good rodgering.

But I felt bad for him – he was obviously missing her, and being with me just reminded him of how much he still wanted to be with her.

And I am not such a bitch as to take my pleasure and leave: he deserved to be treated with respect and dignity, even if I found the whole thing quite sad.

Plus of course I had had three orgasms, so I felt it only polite to listen to him.

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