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Monday, November 29, 2004

Girl, you know its true

I feel like I have wandered out of the 1980's (not a vintage decade, contrary to popular 'fashion'). Weirdly enough, I bumped into two people from that era today (now waiting for number three to come up and bite me on the arse (well, spank would be better, but can't afford to be picky in this day and age)). Anyway, one guy was when I was on my way to the gym (eek, sorry what was your name again?) and another was in my gym. We stared at each other, as you do, and realised that it would be better to just, you know, stare, than actually talk and have to compare notes about the following two decades. (Well, that's my excuse anyway, as for him, god knows).

It got me thinking whilst I was miles away (well, only four today, stamina not up to what it used to be, ahem), how innocent those years were. Don't get me wrong, they were also filled with rampant sex, drug and alcohol fuelled escapades, listening to Hendrix or Acid House as loud as the speakers would go, but also they were easy. Simple even.

I remember this boy. He was the world to me (and if the world had ended, I didn't care, because he was in my arms). His smile would light up his face like the sun. His eyes sparkled like they were on fire. We would lie on our backs arm in arm together in the park, listening to Soul II Soul on his walkman and watch the stars in the night sky, truly believing in the "a happy face, a thumping bass, for a lovin race" philosophy of the time. Simple pleasures. When did it all get so complicated?

Worrying about:
Sex Drive
'Settling down'

I don't want the burden of the world on my shoulders, but I miss debating the world's burden. I miss talking for hours on end about life, the world and our place in it. I miss having that magic where two people can finish each others sentences and yet are also totally comfortable with the silence that wondering about the world creates. Where they can laugh knowing that whatever lies ahead is exciting and new, not unknown and fearful. Where being in love seemed pure. Light. Beautiful. Nothing seemed to matter back then. Life was simpler.

Plus of course, back then, I was entirely ignorant as to the levels of my newly found sex drive, which meant my love affairs were entirely cerebral, something I also miss. Now however, I sometimes feel like a slave to my own body, following it from one pleasure-seeking-chase to another, not ever really stopping to listen to my brain quietly shouting 'no!' whilst my pussy screams 'yes!' much louder. I guess I should pay attention to what's upstairs a little more often, I might make some better decisions in my life...

So, with that in mind, sing with me:

Back to life
Back to the present time
Back from a fantasy

but let's not discuss my fluorescent yellow leg warmers...

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