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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

May the Force be with you

In my blog, I have talked about various things, such as: having a high sex drive, one-night stands, the smiliarities between me and men , how I spend an average day and bored wanking (work those archives baby). But I have never touched upon the Bully Wank. I am sure most people are familiar with this (and if anyone can come up with a description better than mine via Google or the like, please offer it up).

The Bully Wank is when you've mildly got the horn but you're maybe tired/had a long day/had an argument with your partner/been wanking all day anyway and then you force yourself to masturbate. Of course consent is involved, its not like you have to co-oerce yourself into grabbing your genitals ("oh come on honey, you'll like it, I promise!"). No, more that you feel you should have a play, even given the state you are in, so you really try to enjoy it, but your hearts just not in it. Which may lead to:

a) Not being able to cum
b) Or it taking ages to cum
c) Or the climax at the end hardly being worth it

which is where I found myself recently at 3am, frigging away for England, desperate to cum. And at 5am I gave up. Yes, without having an orgasm. I am as outraged as you are, believe me (especially considering my normal state of the post-multi-body-judder). I felt robbed - even though I had played 5 times that day already, I had gone to bed thinking (well convincing myself really):

"Oh, just one last one. A quickie. One for the road..."

But I know that I kept falling asleep mid-frig and then wake up moments later thinking

"what was I doing again? Oh yeah. Where was I?"

And continue playing. And falling asleep again. And 2 hours into this stupid cycle, I saw it was 5am, that I had only 2 hours before I had to be up again, and I just thought

"Fuck it"

And fell asleep. Of course it didn't help that I then woke up at 7am, crazy horny (with not enough time to play before leaving), but sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.

Just say no to the Bully. I know I shall...

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