I generally don’t do the blog-baton-passing memes that get passed round the web. I’m a bit cynical and jaded about them really. I suppose I find it a little too saccharine when us bloggers go on about how close we all are in cyberspace, that we’re all linked to each other in one way or another, and we all end up giving each other mutual back-slaps as much as possible.
What ever happened to arch rivalry, bitter competition and bad-mouthing, I ask you?
But, in all seriousness, given the egalitarian nature of blogging, combined with the fact that so many people are participating in this right now, I have decided to break my silence on such matters and join in.
So I have below, outlined the questions recently asked of me, alongside some unique ones of my own. These should be interesting enough for anyone who wants to know the minutae of my life, sexy enough for those looking for stimulation, and hopefully detailed enough to stop me getting any more tags in the future - this post should cover all.
Last 5 songs I listened to:
1. Mr Brightside – The Killers [to give me the extra power I need to sprint whilst running]
2. Crime for Crime – Ani DiFranco [to help me on the uphill run]
3. Kiss – Prince [to make me feel sexy]
4. Never loved a man – Aretha Franklin [to sing out loud to]
5. Let the music move you – Nightwriters [to feel happy at the end of my run]
Last 5 movies I saw:
1. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy [I enjoyed it: have a slight crush on Martin Freeman]
2. The Assassination of Richard Nixon [Great performance from Sean Penn, but far too long. Worth a dvd rental]
3. Kingdom of Heaven [Utter nonsense and dull as dishwater. Ridley Scott is a self-indulgent twat]
4. A movie I worked on (not yet released) [Dreadful cinematography, some good acting]
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind [Fabulous, wonderful original film]
Last 5 books I read:
1. The Time Travellers Wife – Audrey Niffenegger [Time travel, love, sex and loss? Yes please - I am such a romantic]
2. Charlie Big Potatoes – Phil Robinson [Wonderful funny portrayal of male angst]
3. Dr Mukti and Other tales of Woe – Will Self [He is totally warped. I love it]
4. Brass – Helen Walsh [She represents my cynical, bitter and twisted side. Not necessarily a good thing]
5. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold [Brilliant. Read it in one sitting. Wept a lot]
Last 5 cultured events attended:
1. The Lee Miller photographic exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery [She was a Girl with a one-track mind too]
2. A We Are Scientists gig [Fantastic. You heard it here first]
3. A live comedy night with Rob Newman, Mark Thomas and Daniel Kitson [I wet myself laughing]
4. A book reading with Will Self [Something about his nihilism turns me on]
5. A performance of a friend’s play [Bad acting, great dialogue]
Last 5 masturbatory fantasies:
1. In a café with my lover. I put my hand on his thigh and discover he is hard, rub him a little through his jeans. He slides some fingers underneath my skirt, feels how wet I am and rubs me. We hurridly leave and he drags me into an alleyway. He pushes me against the wall, lifts my skirt and enters me.
2. In bed, massaging my lover with oil. I run my hands all over his body. He turns over and I see how hard he is. I rub the oil into my breasts and after sliding him between my tits, lower myself onto his cock, fucking him slowly.
3. In a lap-dancing club with my lover. He pays a beautiful buxom woman to dance for me. She moves against me, pushing her breasts into my face. He watches me, seeing how excited I am. Then he has a dance from her too. I watch her grind herself against him, and I know that he would be hard. Whilst she dangles her breasts in front of him, he looks over at me, and smiles, knowing that I am turned on by his desire. The lapdancer finishes. We leave, and jump in a cab, my hand on his cock for the journey back. When we get home we fuck each other furiously.
4. I am in a hotel bedroom waiting. I have on the requested clothing: cream satin underwired ribbed basque, cream satin thong, flesh coloured stockings, all underneath a fitted white blouse and grey knee-length skirt, topped off with 4-inch cream leather heels. I lie on the bed anxiously anticipating, my underwear already wet. I hear him enter the room. He walks straight up to the bed, and unzips himself, pulling down his trousers to reveal his erection. He gives himself a couple of strokes, before bending down to me, lowering his face into my crotch. He breathes me in and nuzzles me through my panties. I can feel his mouth pressed against me, the heat of his breath through the material. He does nothing except press his face into me. But it’s too much for me, and I begin to move against him. He still does nothing, and I am desperate for more stimulation, craven for him. Gently he tugs my underwear to the side with his tongue and pushes his mouth up against me, sucking me all in. I am going crazy, wanting more – a finger, a tongue, anything. But he just sucks me gently, continuing to drive me into a frenzy. Just when I think I am going to go out of my mind with desire, he suddenly lifts his face off me, and before I know it, has lowered himself onto me, his cock sliding into me in one fluid movement. We both climax together.
5. I am washing up dishes at the sink. He comes up behind me, kisses my neck, then grasps both my breasts gently, caressing my hardening nipples with his fingertips. I feel his erection pressing into my bum and push back against him. I hear him unzip himself and a moment later, can feel the heat and hardness of his cock pressed up against me. He slides one hand in between my thighs and gasps as he feels how wet I am. He pulls me back towards him, lifts my dress up, pulls my thong aside and slides himself into me, gripping my hips hard as he does so.
Right. In the spirit of blogging, I hereby pass on these same questions (minus the last one, if you’re too chicken to post your wank material) onto:
Southern Bird, Alba Gray, The Man Who Fell Asleep, Figleaf, and Just a Girl.