About Me


Subscribe: RSS for blog RSS for comments

Facebook icon and link Twitter icon and link Flickr icon and link Qik icon and link Dopplr icon and link
MySpace icon and link MyBlogLog icon and link Technorati icon and link Tumblr icon and link Blogger icon and link

friend me on Facebook
follow me on Twitter
view my photos on Flickr
watch my videos on Qik
find me on Dopplr
join my MySpace
check my MyBlogLog
my Technorati profile
view my Tumblr
my Blogger profile
Blog RSS feed
Comments RSS feed

Recent posts

In the company of men
Magic Hands
The First Sometimes you see someone who sparks ...
2004: A year in review It’s a little late, but ...
Near hit I missed yet another opportunity. H...
Speaking of sex blogs... The original inspirati...
Best sex blog All I can say is: vote for Rentbo...
The girl next door I am her She is me I can b...
Happy Birthday... to me... And Happy New Yea...

Places to shop and visit

My Top 10 Toys - Women
My Top 10 Toys - Men
My Top 10 Toys - Couples
Fleshlight UK
Durex's Ora!

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Sex is... 

In conversation with a woman at work the other day, the subject of sex came up - as it does. This woman told me that she found it hard to climax during sex. She admitted to me that orgasm during masturbation wasn't a problem for her; it was just when she was with a partner that climaxing was a problem.

We talked some more and it turned out that for her, sex was only about the expression of love for someone; if she wasn't in love with the person she was having sex with, or was worried that they weren't in love with her, then she wasn't able to come. Thus, sex was solely about a personal loving interaction, nothing else. There seemed to be a simple equation with her: no love = no orgasm.

Well of course I disagreed with her. I mean, sex having to be connected with love? Not always. And it got me thinking: what is sex?

For me, sex falls into 3 categories:

1. Making love: Sharing something totally intimate, caring and loving with someone you love; expressing how you feel about them through tender physical intimacy. It is emotionally and physically intense, full of meaning, powerful, and only possible to experience with a partner that you have feelings for. A way of connecting to another person. The equivilent of finishing the end of someone's sentences.

2. Having sex: Fun, laid back physical expression of desire. A good release of pent up frustration, both mental and physical. Not necessarily tied with emotions. Can be with a long-term partner, or with a fuck buddy. Like a game of tennis, but with fewer balls and less clothes.

3. Fucking: Expressing carnal desires through rampant shagging. This is hot, wet, licking, sucking, biting, gripping, slapping, fucking. This is where you've had the horn all day, not played with yourself, and rushed home to your partner to push them against the wall, rip their clothes off and fuck them hard. Or where you meet someone new, realise the animal attraction between you is so intense that you throw all caution to the winds, forget about your inhibitions, and devour their body hungrily. A purely physical expression.

And with regards to the above, I seem diametrically opposed to the aforementioned woman's experience in terms of climaxing. I certainly have no problem orgasming - if anything, it's the opposite with me - finding it a little too easy when I have sex or fuck someone, (something I have been embarassed about occasionally, feeling like I have premature female orgasm (if there is such a thing)).

It's all too easy to disconnect emotionally from sex and fucking - probably what makes it such fun - and so easy to climax. But making love, well, it's all about connecting to your feelings and translating them into a physical interaction with the other person. It would be fair to say I find this appealing and intimidating simultaneously: I find it a lot harder to let go, when feelings are involved, thus making it a little more difficult to climax.

Still, I'd choose to make love with someone over a meaningless shag any day. These easy climaxes may be appealing, but they can end up feeling empty and pointless because there's no feelings involved. I suppose if this Girl with a one-track mind has learned anything over the past year, it's that even orgasms can be unfulfilling sometimes and that there is more to life than sex. Not profound, I know, but a little learning curve for me, all the same...

designed by one man