I missed yet another opportunity.
He was only yards away from me.
It was New Years Eve - the perfect time to request a no-strings-attached snog from a cute guy - and of all the places in the world he could
have been, he was where I was.
But I didn't know
he was there.
It was only when settling down to read the paper a couple of days later, that I found out that Graham Coxon
was having a bevvie with some journalists
down the road from me that night.
There I was, wiggling my hips to some old funk, whilst the ex-Blur-man with magic hands
(arguably one of the best guitarists of our time) was supping beer somewhere else. If only
I had known, I might have seen in the New Year with this rather dashing, intelligent, sexy spectacled man; (rather than alongside my mate JN who actually turned down a girl that I chatted up on his behalf - picky fucker).
Not that I would have known what to say however, had I actually
come face to face with Mr Coxon. Should I have taken:
The sycophantic route?
"Hi Graham, I think you're amazingly talented, you are a true spokesman for our time"
The empathy route?
"Hi Graham, I truly feel your angst. You lyrics have really touched me "
The name dropping route?
"Hi Graham, I'm Girl, used to work with so and so at blah blah blah, you know them?"
The blagging route?
"Hi Graham, I work in film. Ever thought of acting?"
The ego route?
"Hi Graham, I think you're great. I'd love to shoot your next video. Here's my card."
The chat up route?
"Hi there. I just had to come over and say hi - you have lovely eyes you know. Can I buy you a beer?"
The totally unrealistic, yet I can always dream route?
"Hi Graham. I think you're a superb guitarist. But I'm not sure who would win out of a contest between yourself and Justin Hawkins
. Perhaps you should bring him over to my place and then I'll be able to decide who is the most skilled guitarist of the two of you. Of course it's not obligatory
that you are naked whilst you play, but it will give you extra points and assist me with my decision. The winner of the contest gets to shag me. The runner up, a blow job. If it's a tie, you'll just have to simultaneously share me, I'm afraid. Best of luck!"
Ah well. A girl can only live in hope. Back to listening to my ipod I guess...