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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

In the company of men 

After spending the majority of the last week with a variety of different male friends, it has got me thinking a lot about friendship and gender; I realised that most of my close friends are male and it's got me wondering why.

Not that this is a recent thing: I remember being 10 years old, begging my brother to be allowed to play with him and his friends and then when he caved in, being the only girl in their group. [Not that my brother liked my hanging out with him: he thumped me on a regular basis, especially when I stole his Action Men (to 'introduce' to my Sindy dolls)]. But I suppose that even at this young age it was clear that I had a connection with males.

And not much has changed: I can count my female friends on one hand. For my male friends however, I'd need a spare set of hands. Some of them are just 'aquaintances' - we only meet up every now and then, but a few I see and speak to regularly and would count them within my 'inner circle' - meeting up with them every week or so (depending on my shooting schedule).

Of course I have been intimate with a few of them many years ago, (no surprise there), and I suppose back then they could have been defined as a relationship in terms of the Shag Bingo rules (5 shags or it lasting more than a week with them). But most of them are just pals I have met over the years: at college, work, through friends of friends etc, and we have only ever had a platonic relationship.

The advantage of having male mates is of course, seeing life from the 'other' side. I regularly get to hear their woes and worries, and it's reassurring that they're so similiar to mine: their lack of a partner (or problems with their partner), their jobs, their families, being in debt, trying to get on the housing ladder, basically your average 30-something anxiety. And of course we talk about sex (and the lack of it). I can talk more openly with a couple of my male mates than I can with my female friends, something I regret and appreciate simultaneously. They seem to judge me less, or maybe it's just because they are less embarrassed covering this topic in conversation, unlike (a lot of?) women.

Anyhow, there's one topic I haven't dared approach my male friends with for fear of insulting them or damaging their egos, and I am anxious to know about it, feeling somewhat ignorant in this department. And this is where YOU men come in: you can be as anonymous as you like in my comment box and answer truthfully, that way this issue can be brought out into the open and debated honestly.

So, please do comment, I want to know your thoughts on the following:

  1. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
  2. If so, why?
  3. If so, how often?

Look forward to reading all your thoughts.

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