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Sunday, April 29, 2007


"I think I'm bored of wanking," I moaned to my friend a while back. "Is it possible that I'm becoming desensitised to it because I am doing it too often?"

There was silence on the other end of the 'phone. I think he knew best not to comment on either the frequency of my masturbatory habits, or the effect of such regularity. But there was a reason for my touching upon (as it were) the subject: I was seriously concerned that my wanking was becoming a chore.

When it comes to sexual pleasure, I like decent climaxes, not rushed, unimpressive, bashed-out orgasms. Thus I tend to pursue quality over quantity, and only occasionally force myself to have a barely-worth-writing-home-about frig: a Bully Wank. The reason then, for my increasingly recurrent masturbation regime wasn't because I was desperately gagging for a shag (no more than normal, anyway) or for lots of orgasms. Rather, it was because I had been sent a huge box of sex toys from Lovehoney, and asked to recommend five of them, so I found myself, (like you do), preoccupied with constant climaxing. It was work, you see. At least that's what I told myself, as I covered yet another vibrator in heated lube and lay back thinking of England...

Because I believed every toy should get a fair try, I thought I should use each one at least three times, to be able to get a good feel for it. (You never know, the first two orgasms may have just been flukes.) So given I had ten toys to dabble with, that was a lot of play-time. I was, quite literally, forcing myself to frig at least three or four times daily to be able to make a fair and valid choice about which toy pleasured me the most, and all this playing really began to bore me. Another orgasm? Yeah, whatever... Having a climax soon became mundane and I worried that my lackadaisical approach to orgasms would be permanent.

I'm pleased to report that this indifference towards self-pleasure was short-lived: after a brief break, in which I abstained from wanking entirely, my normal twice (or thrice) daily appetite came back. Which is great of course, and somewhat of a relief really, because I had worried over what I would do for a past-time if my masturbation resulted in perfunctory tedium... So all's well that ends well, but there's only one down-side to having a box full of toys: the amount of watch batteries I tend to get through nowadays is hardly good for the environment, is it?

(My Top 5 sex toy recommendations are here for anyone who's interested - and a mini Q & A with me too.)

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