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Monday, March 26, 2007


Thanks for all your condolences folks, much appreciated. Things have been a bit busy over at Girl HQ, so I haven't had a lot of time to blog. I have, however, been amusing myself in the odd spare moment by reading Bitchy Jones's Diary.

This is a new blog, which I highly recommend. Besides striking a soft dig at the usual, 'single thirty-something woman' tag, Bitchy rather insightfully highlights the ups and downs of being a dominant female and wanting to have sex with submissive men. (You know, enjoying inflicting pain on blokes and making them cry.) (Not figuratively.) She writes beautifully, but besides being articulate, incredibly funny, and interesting to read, she is also - to my mind - a feminist, which makes her even more worthy of attention. She's also one of the few openly dominant women who does not equate her enjoyment of sexual domination with being a well-paid-for dominatrix; a rarity indeed.

As Bitchy puts it:

"It makes me sad that the only dom women you ever see in the media are professional doms. The shelves in the erotica section of my local Borders are thick with the memoirs of prodom women, but no memoirs of anyone like me. And no matter how much these women with the memoirs out love it they *are* getting paid. And that’s just different to doing something for love. It just is.

A lot of prodom websites and blogs are very heavily focussed around how rich/important their clients are and what the doms have had bought for them. This bothers me. You can call it a gift or a tribute or a fee, but you will still have a long journey to convince me that there is anything new or challenging or, hell, even dominant about measuring your worth as a woman by what you can convince men to buy you.

And if it’s paying your rent and to get more clients you have to go with the whole PVC catsuit, 9 inch stiletto, tight pony tail thing, you will. And – because you – the prodoms who have to meet the expectations of male fantasies - are the only dom women in the media - I will see you and think that that’s what domming is. And I will get confused and depressed and start a whiny blog about it.

I don’t think for minute that this is the fault of prodoms themselves. And I’m not here to run people down for how they live their lives. I think it’s that the media always present dom women in this more palatable form. Prodom women can easily be dismissed as only doing it for the money, and no one has to really think about the fact that sadistic dom women actually exist."

She also has some thoughts on her preferences in bed:

"If you want a woman to stick something up your arse, fine. But that is what is happening. She is not fucking you for *her* pleasure. She is not making you her bitch. She is doing you a favour. My objection to strap-on play isn’t to the act itself so much as it being the femdom come shot.

Shouldn’t the femdom come shot involve the dom’s actual cunt?

Fuck strap-on play. For serious. I’m a woman. I get to get fucked *and* be the dom.

I get to lie on my back and still be on top.

I win."

I think I may have a small crush on her.

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