Some people might think that a girl like me would take up any opportunity to have a one-night-stand with a guy, especially if he was handsome and intelligent. Whilst this is true, I do avoid situations when I feel that someone else’s feelings could get hurt in the process.
Like tonight for example: I could be shagging now as I write this, but instead, I sent a guy on his way home, alone.
A friend of a friend had asked me out to dinner. Even though I had only met him once, I thought he was a nice enough chap, so I agreed to meet him.
We had a lovely meal, followed by some interesting conversation, supported by many rounds of drinks. And it was whilst we chatted that I became aware of his body language; something I pay a lot of attention to, finding it a huge advantage to be fluent in the physical manifestations of unconscious desire. Knowing what someone’s intentions are before they’ve stated them verbally keeps you one step ahead and focussed on the objective – whether it be friendship, sex, or potential boyfriend/girlfriend material.
It was clear that he fancied me, but after spending a few hours in his company, I knew it would be wrong for me to get involved; he would end up reeling from the experience, were I to dabble in a little playtime with him:
1) He was much younger than me. Previous experience has proven that though younger men may have good stamina in bed (and possibly be skilled in that department too) they rarely know how to deal with an older woman on an emotional level. Still developing their sense of self, they inevitably end up with their feelings hurt when faced with an independent woman who may only want a casual dalliance with them.
2) He admitted to me that he was very sexually inexperienced with women and that sex scared him. It wasn’t the inexperience itself that put me off: I know that I could corrupt him sexually in two minutes flat and that it would be hugely fun:
‘Ooh look, someone I can mould into being a superb lover, and who’ll be grateful forevermore, how delightful’
Although doing this would stroke my ego, the potential psychological damage I could cause in the meantime, made it not worth touching with a bargepole.
3) He told me he was worried that our mutual friend ‘warned’ him about me and called me a ‘tiger’. (Thanks S, glad to see you are still perpetuating my reputation as a man-eater: that’ll really sell my qualities to any prospective boyfriends).
That this made him nervous, combined with his not being the most assertive of men, and the obvious intimidation he felt by me, meant that getting casually involved would undermine the little confidence he already has regarding women and result in him being more insecure.
And although he was reasonably cute, he doesn’t live in
So when his hand grazed mine as he put down his pint glass, or when he touched my arm gently as he was making a point, I did not return the gestures. I did not laugh wildly at his jokes. I did not throw back my hair and twirl it nervously around my fingers. And at the end of the night, when he leaned in to give me an open-mouthed kiss on the lips, I moved my face aside and let him find my cheek instead.
Sometimes the consequences of getting involved in a one-night stand can have unpleasant ramifications, causing someone to have their feelings hurt: not a nice thing to know you are responsible for. So occasionally this Girl does think of someone else – and their feelings – above her own desires
Even though it meant losing out on a potential shag.