The Girl's 10-point Guide to One Night Stands (for men)
1) If you have time to plan before the event, be prepared: hygiene and cleanliness are not optional here. Trimming/shaving your pubic hair is; and a good choice if you have the chance to do so before shagging a woman for the first time:
a) Your genitals will smell and taste sweeter (hair collects sweat). b) No-one likes getting pubes stuck in their mouth whilst they suck away. c) Less hair around your groin means more nerve ending stimulation from having the skin exposed - having a tongue lick and nibble areas previously covered by hair will feel magnificent. d) If women can wax, pluck, and shave their nether regions, so can men.
2) Pant choice can be important - always go for the newest ones you have, and obviously they should be clean. Style is not that relevant; though it takes a confident man to get away with wearing y-fronts.
3) Always have condoms handy; there are no excuses here. Again, the choice of which you use is irrelevant; more important that they are close at hand, and can be put on swiftly, when the moment is near.
4) Relax for goodness' sake: it is just sex. It doesn't need to mean anything.
5) Enjoy it. Sex is supposed to be fun, not stressful. A one-night stand is not a job interview where you need to make a great impression; it is far better to be yourself and enjoy whatever happens - this'll impress the woman much more than your sexual prowess.
6) Enthusiasm is more important than experience. Being willing to learn and be open-minded will make for much better sex than attempting to be the world's greatest lover.
7) Don't worry if you lose your erection - it happens to everyone, and is quite common in a casual sex situation. (Trust me on this - I've been faced with a few). It's really not a cause for concern - sex does not depend on your ability to stay hard - just be willing to do other things to please her and yourself. Whatever you do, don't say,
"Sorry honey, it, (pointing at your cock) ain't happening tonight" and then roll over and go to sleep.
Do slide your fingers inside her, kiss her deeply and say,
"God it turns me on to see you so worked up, I could do this all night"
And then prove it.
8) Do try to remember her name rather than just call her 'honey', 'darling' or 'babe'. Obviously don't call her by the wrong name, or worse, 'mother'.
9) Don't be too affectionate, loving or tactile: this is casual sex, not a relationship. Incorporating emotional intimacy by interacting with physical affection is out for the following reasons:
a) Making love is reserved for partners, not impersonal shags; snuggling, holding hands and watching each other fall asleep is something you do with someone you love, not someone you have just met. b) Using sex to get the intimacy you are actually craving, (no matter how unconsciously you might want it) is misjudged: you will be disappointed by it. You are here to have sexual gratification, not a Girlfriend Experience: if you are seeking pretend intimacy from someone you do not know, go hire a prostitute. c) Intimacy can confuse the situation. If you have no emotional feelings for the person you are shagging (very rare to, in a one-night stand) then do not interact in an affectionate and intimate way; your loving hug may be interpreted as meaning you want more than sex - something that perhaps neither party actually wants.
10) Make sure your etiquette after the event is up to standard:
a) If in the morning, you don't want to see the other person again, do not say,
"I'll call you"
And then never speak to them again. It's not only a lie, but a thoughtless one.
"That was great, thank you, it's been fun"
And smile as you leave.
b) If in the morning, you decide that you wouldn't mind shagging them again, but don't want anything more than that, then say,
"That was great, thank you. Want to do it again sometime?"
And smile as you leave, making sure you get their 'phone number before exiting.
c) If in the morning, you are so impressed by the skills she showed in bed, plus you are totally stunned by how funny, sweet and clever this woman is, and you think you'd like to get to know her some more, then say,
"That was great, thank you. I had a wonderful time - and not just because the sex was fabulous; the company was terrific too. If you'd be into meeting up for dinner sometime, give me a call",
And smile as you leave, making sure you give her your 'phone number before exiting.
[Reasons why (so many) men are crap at one night stands to follow shortly]