How not to chat up The Girl
The Girl’s top 10 guide to chatting up a girl
The Girl’s top 10 guide to chatting up a bloke
How not to have a one-night stand: part three
My name is Girl, and I am a sex fiend.
Frenetic masturbating at every given opportunity is rather inconvenient.
Who would have known that Duracell Extra Strength could last so long?
I’ll gladly give up my will; handcuffs and ankle restraints help.
The use of a compact mirror often comes in handy.
Screaming out his name just as I am about to climax is the best admittance of all.
Returning over-used broken vibrators to their maker is my speciality.
Although I am all for the quickie, I do prefer the longer more drawn-out climax.
For all those I gave rushed blow-jobs to, I thoroughly apologise; it was only because I was going crazy not having your cock inside me that made me hurry so.
For all those I gave rushed blow jobs to, and who are now partnered-up with someone else, I thoroughly apologise; you’ll now just have to imagine my lips around your cock, sucking you for an hour.
I promise to throw out all my other sex toys and only keep the best one.
If asked nicely, I will gladly worship a cock; clasping my hands together and bowing my head when requested. Crucifixes are optional.
I will try to spend less time looking at pornography, and more time on foreplay.
I will try not to judge the fuckability of all men I meet; I can just be friends with men.
I will try* to spend my free time doing artistic and creative things, rather than always end up with my hands between my legs
*But twice a day is still necessary, or I’d go insane.