I’ve been quite busy recently; working stupid hours once more, and making inroads in other areas of my life too, all of which has left me chasing my tail somewhat.

Annoyingly, I haven’t had the time to chase anyone else’s tail, so sex and/or romance has evaded me somewhat.

But all is not lost – oh no. For in what spare time I can find, I have made the discovery that divine pleasure exists; so much so, that if I could arrange a matrimonial ceremony to state my devotion to it, I would.

That’s right: I have been getting intimate with the ultimate sex toy – my most favourite of all vibrators – the fantastic, the brilliant, the awesome, Rock Chick.

Forget Rabbits, or Butterflies, (or other weird animal-named toys), this toy beats all of them: by hitting both the g-spot and the clit simultaneously, with only a rocking motion needed - you can climax without the use of hands. What more could a girl want?

Vibrations, you say? Well, it also has a bullet vibe for that extra buzz inside and out, when you want it, so all bases are catered for.

This toy is the real McCoy; nothing I have ever used comes close to it; I am seriously debating chucking all my other toys, because they’ve been sitting idly in my drawer ever since I discovered the Rock Chick. (Charity shops do not take unwanted toys, sad to say).

So gents, if you want your girl to hump, grind, and moan with delight, then I suggest you buy one of these for her instantly. At the very least, it’ll help her discover her g-spot (if she hasn’t already), and the orgasms she will get from it, are worth every penny; she will thank you for giving her one (quite literally), trust me.

And ladies, believe me when I say, one try with this silicon beauty, and you’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about, with the noisy, ugly, cheap rubber vibrators; nothing comes close – again, quite literally – to the Rock Chick.

Plus of course, because of its original non-vibrator-type design, you can carry it in your bag without anyone knowing what the hell it is; always an advantage, especially if you are due to be boarding a plane and travelling to a land where laws preventing free sexual expression may cause you problems when entering the country.

Though my plan to flirt outrageously with the immigration man/woman if they pull me aside, should hopefully allow me to get through.