Girl with a one-track mind

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Rules

Rules for summer

Men:

Wash your armpits and wear anti-perspirant deodorant. Stinking out a tube carriage in summer does not make you a man; it makes you a selfish arsehole.
Wear a t-shirt. As much as I may like your bare chest to fondle whilst in bed, showing your nipples on the underground is too much even for me.
Don’t wear socks with sandals. Just don’t. Unless you plan on being celibate for ever, that is.
Trim your toenails, file the dead skin off your feet and use talc between your toes. Visible fungus on your feet is not attractive: if you want your toes sucked, you'd better make 'em more appealing.
Go commando under your trousers/shorts. As well as keeping you (and your potential baby-making sperm) cooler, you’ll also attract interested looks from women like me, eager to see the outline of your cock beneath. You may even get chatted up as a result.

Women:

Limit the amount of perfume you wear. Stinking out a tube carriage in summer is selfish. A clean body smells much nicer than one doused in artificial chemicals.
Wear a properly sized and fitted bra. Flesh bulging out over the sides and top or nipples pointed down to the floor, is not a good look, believe me.
Don’t wear socks with sandals, like some sad fashion victim from the 1980s. That decade is over – and for a good reason too: Thatcherism, day-glo, yuppies – I rest my case.
Chipped toenail polish looks foul. Either touch it up, or wear none. And don’t be shy of using the pumice stone: it is your friend.
Lose the thong poking out of your hipster trousers: a builder’s bum is always unattractive – even if your pants are lacy. And if you’re going to wear a skin-tight skirt, ditch the knickers altogether: better to go commando and show off your arse, than have thick seams digging into your curves. Plus, it makes for easier access, should you decide (with any luck) to sit on some nice boy’s hand.

// posted by thegirl @ 1:44:00 pm