The last two days I have been going out of my mind. Frustrated beyond belief. I have been totally desperate.

It is quite clear that I have been displaying the classic symptoms of irrational horniness:

1. I have been thinking about sex all the time
2. I have downloaded porn to watch every time I’ve been at the computer
3. I have gone through three sets of watch batteries from usage of my vibrator
4. I have got repetitive strain injury in my wrist from wanking constantly
5. I have gone through my address book and considered calling old fuck buddies for a shag, even though I promised myself I wouldn’t see them again because
a) they weren’t that good in bed
b) they bore me intellectually which made the sex mundane
c) they have girlfriends now and I dislike men that cheat
6. I have considered contacting men I have recently dated and asking them to fuck me
7. I have perused Craigslist and debated contacting some random stranger for a quick no-strings-attached shag in a hotel
8. I have wondered about going to a swingers’ sauna and propositioning some bloke to eat me out in the steam room
9. I have been tempted to sit legs apart on a train whilst wearing a skirt and no knickers and hope that a cute guy will notice and then make a move on me
10. And I have considered calling a platonic male friend who I am not even attracted to and asking him to ‘do the honours’

It seems obvious that I have not been thinking straight; very worrying.

That is, until this evening, when I suddenly realised why I also had an agonising stabbing pain in my belly and my breasts were swollen and sore: I’ve just got my period.

Thank fuck for that, is all I can say. Not that I was worried about being pregnant (far from it, especially with my using condoms when I do get action), but I had feared something was wrong with me, because of my current randiness.

So it’s quite a relief to know that it’s all down to my hormones and that I will be thinking rationally again as soon as it’s all over in a few days. That’s not to say I won’t still be horny, but just that I won’t resort to any irrational or desperate behaviour to satisfy my urges.

I'll just be resorting to normal means instead, which with my high-sex-drive, is something to be thankful for.