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Why is it that men go to the gym together? I have ...
Saturday 3 January 2004 Damn B. Woke up today th...
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Monday, January 05, 2004

I think I am in love. Not real love of course; more like an obsession. He is not my type: thin, straggly, with long hair and uneven teeth. And he smokes. But he plays the guitar like a maniac, as if he was masturbating with the instrument and his falsetto voice sends chills down my spine. Maybe its the taut muscles lining his chest that does it. Or the way the tattoo on his stomach is like a huge arrow pointing to his groin. Or maybe its the tight catsuits he wears that show off his bulge. Whatever it is, I fantasise about him all the time, and its listening to him on my walkman that gets me through the pain threshold at the gym.

I am of course talking about Justin Hawkins from rock band The Darkness Their music has taken me to new levels of sweat - singlehandedly their tunes have created my first ever abdominal muscles - and the lead singer Justin has wetted my pants many times... I fell asleep last night, dual balls having done their job, looking at the Time Out life-size poster of Justin which faces my bed. Lovely way to fall asleep - woke up with the balls still inside me - shows how carried away I must have been...

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