Saturday 3 January 2004
Damn B. Woke up today thinking about him and his male friend R again. He mentioned to me a while back about us three fooling around but we never got it on. Just before me and B finished I met R, and now the idea has taken on new levels of excitement for me. I did try to get out of bed before 1pm, but the thought of having R in my mouth while B took me from behind was all too much for me and I ended up spending a good hour playing (and then falling back asleep again after). And by the time I got up, I didn’t make it to the gym. Why does my life seem to revolve around my libido?

Friday 2 January 2004
I started off the day well. Woke up at midday (hey I fell asleep at 6.30am so that’s not exactly a lie-in), had a coffee (organic fair-trade Guatemalan freshly ground, oh so delicious) and went straight down to the gym for a great two hour workout. And then my mind decided to get up to its usual tricks. As normal I scanned the surround for talent. Nothing there: just some old guys and a couple of teenage boys. Obviously lunchtime is not the time to see quality men, which was fine by me, makes me concentrate harder on my workout. But I did notice that I was the only woman in there whose nipples were erect (and yes I did check). Is something wrong with me?

Later at home, feeling very smug that I ran 2 miles non-stop in under 22 minutes (and walked another 2 in 28 minutes), I was rummaging around my drawers looking for things to wear and I found my vibrating dual balls. Ho hum, they’re not there to look at after all, may as well give them a go. Dammit I was doing so well, but I can’t resist the lure of the balls, so delicious. Ladies, if you haven’t tried them – DO. And gents, please be a dear and buy some as a treat for your girl if you have one. She’ll thank you for it, trust me.

Thursday 1 January 2004
A new year. A new outlook. So why am I thinking about B a lot? I ended it with him recently when I realised how much of an asshole he is and that he has a total lack of respect for me. Even a fuck-buddy like him should be a decent human being I think.

So I find it weird that he is occupying my thoughts – well not so much him per se, but more specifically, his cock. I don’t know what it is about it, its not exceptionally large or anything (though its bigger than average), but I am thinking about it constantly.

Today for example I woke up imagining B’s cock rubbing against me. Seconds later I am playing with myself to oblivion. Lovely way to start the day, but I am shocked that I could still find him a turn-on right now. And then, an hour later as I was doing some sit-ups in my front room, I started fantasising that he was standing next to me, cock in his hand, sliding it into my mouth. Needless to say I had to stop exercising (damn it, gotta work those abs!) and sort myself out. I wonder if the things you dislike turn you on the most? Sometimes I feel like I have no control…