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Sharon Osbourne

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Friday, September 22, 2006


Sex injuries recently sustained:

  1. A dislocated shoulder (obtained through twisted positioning of our bodies)
  2. Grazes on my elbow (from propping myself up on one arm)
  3. Bruising on my knees (being clumsy means I knock against everything)
  4. Cramp in my calf muscle (enthusiastically pulling his arse in towards me with my feet has its disadvantages)
  5. A stiff neck (lack of sleep meant plenty of tossing and turning). (More of the former, naturally)
  6. A tired back (taking it from behind can be exhausting)
  7. Sore inner thighs (my ‘fuck muscles’ don’t get a work-out as often as they should)
  8. A throbbing vulva (rampant grinding against his hand has its drawbacks)
  9. A pounding headache (the unfortunate payoff for my frequent, and intense, orgasms)
  10. A large ‘love bite’ on my neck -
“You’ve marked me!” I yelped, upon seeing the huge bruise.

He kissed my neck gently. “Call it ‘marking my territory’”, he growled.

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