In almost three years of writing this blog I have never posted up emails here, usually because I want to uphold people's privacy (and via private email most tend to be very honest and trusting, which I am touched by).
Occasionally though, I have been tempted. When I get emails from people (both female and male) telling me I've helped them in some - emotional, sexual, psychological - way, or made them feel empowered, I've wished to place their words up here, so that the "this is just titillative porn" detractors this blog has attracted over the years shut up. When I got outed, I wanted to post the hundreds of emails I got in support to say thank you. And once or twice, when I've been feeling low, I've wanted to post some of the hate mail I receive, just so people can see that behind all this - the blog, the writing, the book - there is a real person, with real feelings, who in private tries to cope and manage and concentrate on the positive, just like anyone else. But to do that gives the trolls fuel for their bitter ammunition and I have no wish to publicise their efforts having any effect on me whatsoever.
So as a rule I don't post up emails here. But today I think I shall. Not because I need empathy, or kindness, or support. I feel good today; I can laugh at the bullshit that comes my way. I want to post this email below because it shows what hateful nonsense occasionally lands in my inbox - and for once, it would be nice to answer back, and say to the tosser who sent it: you are a cock.
Hi just say u on telly and read ur blog.
Why r u so self obssesed and insecure? "she was
staring at my tits". No. she was thinking what the
fuck r u wearing.
Is it because your mid 30s and blatantly gone to seed,
i bet the only thing u can pull now is young 18
desporados who would fuck anything and grizzly 40
something alcoholics at last orders. BIG SHIT - my mum
could pull those people. Anything quality is watching
the 20 somethings not u love. sorry!
Whats all that about going down the gym as well - your
size 16 minimum - what do u there? Sit and fantacise
about the fit people and wonder where all those years
Gd luck with ur book - maybe u can spend ur royalties
down the local Roxy nightclub - thats about ur caliber
Still, his use of the English language and spelling is most impressive; he must be very intellectual. Reckon I should mail him back and ask him for a shag?