Quake

A little while ago whilst in bed with a lovely man, I was informed by him that my orgasms were “incredible”.

“What, because the aftershocks I have can reach 9.5 on the Richter scale?” I joked.

“No,” he replied, “quite a few women have those. I meant your actual orgasms: they're very, um, intense...”

When he made that remark, I thought he was referring to the fact that I ground my teeth together as I came; or that I dug deep scratches in his back with my nails; or how my body went rigid at the height of my climaxes.

I didn't give it much more thought at the time because I was a bit preoccupied, given his fingers were between my legs and I was headed towards yet another pleasurable seismic event.

But I've just realised that he might have been insinuating something else entirely: frequently, when I'm pushing down hard with my pelvic floor muscles as I orgasm, I fart.

And not from the ‘front bottom’, neither.

Excuse me while I go hide myself away and cringe in private.