From: Mr. Magic
To: The Girl
11:03am Monday 25 June 2007
You are likely to be in pain tomorrow and not - frankly - the best of company.
Should we rearrange?
I am not trying to get out of it, as I am looking forward to seeing you. Just thinking about you sitting there with a brave face on, feeling pants and wanting to be on your couch under a duvet with a hottie...
From: The Girl
To: Mr. Magic
11:07am Monday 25 June 2007
My period's due any time between now and Friday. Most likely it'll arrive Thurs/Fri, so my pain is only going to increase throughout the week, not get any better, sadly.
My weekly break-down for you (being a man):
Monday (not bleeding): mild pain (breasts, stomach), low mood, horny
Tuesday (not bleeding): mild pain (breasts, stomach), low mood, extremely horny
Wednesday (not bleeding): moderate pain (breasts, stomach, calves), depressed mood, wanking necessary to relieve mood
Thursday (possibly bleeding): bad pain (breasts, stomach, back), painkillers needed, bad mood, wanking necessary to relieve mood
Friday (bleeding): agonising pain (stomach, back), maximum daily dose of painkillers ingested, wanking necessary to relieve pain
Saturday (bleeding day 2): excruciating pain (stomach, back, head), maximum daily dose of painkillers ingested, hot water bottle on tummy, under duvet, drinking whisky, crying, can't wank: in too much pain
Sunday (bleeding day 3): moderate pain (stomach), occasional painkillers taken, drinking cups of tea, happy wanking
Thus, you can see I'm not in agony now (unlike when I actually bleed), just feeling swollen and sore. So if you don't mind my tits and stomach looking a bit ballooned, let's stick with the meet tomorrow, OK?
From: Mr. Magic
To: The Girl
11:12am Monday 25 June 2007
Heheheh.
I lived with a woman for seven years: I know bad periods.
Tomorrow is cool. And swollen breasts? I think I can cope.
From: The Girl
To: Mr. Magic
11:17am Monday 25 June 2007
I'm sure you'll cope just fine with my boobs. I, however, am more worried about the fight I will have trying to get them to fit into my bra. If I'm late meeting you, that will be the reason why. Well, either that, or my last-minute wank before leaving the house...