On the web
Subscribe: 
friend me on Facebook
follow me on Twitter
view my photos on Flickr
watch my videos on Qik
find me on Dopplr
join my MySpace
check my MyBlogLog
my Technorati profile
view my Tumblr
my Blogger profile
Blog RSS feed
Comments RSS feed
Recent posts
Dating
Event
Holloway
Body
Look
Projections
Email
Panel
Sentence
Stay
Blogs I read
Places I shop
My Top 5 Toys
Sex toys
Sex toys for Men
Fleshlight UK
Condoms
Erotic books
US edition
German edition
Girl With a One Track Mind: Exposed: Further Revelations of a Sex Blogger
Book extracts
Stats and stuff
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Opportunity
My dating life being fucked? Well, I suppose I could always take up one of the generous offers I receive:
Email: tom[redacted]@yahoo.com
Subject: i want no strings fun
Message: hi zoe im tom i want no strings fun with you i seen you on tv im 30 with brown hair want a SHAG OK MY NUMBA IS 07[redacted] TXT IF CAN N WILL RING U BK WEN DA WIFES NOT AROUND I WOULD LOVE URE TITS IN MY FACE WITH U ON TOP OF ME I LIVE IN [redacted] BUT CAN TRAVEL 2 LONDON 4 SEX OK YOUR LOOKS R WELL WORTH THE JOURNEY BABE NO STRINGS THOUGH YA
'Tom', don't hold your breath: I won't be making contact. Not now, or ever. Besides the obvious reasons (I never asked to be your 'friend' on Myspace*, fucker), it's safe to say I have a preference for men who don't cheat on their partners and who also never use txt spk: they're the two quickest ways to dry a woman up, I guarantee it. (A lack of personal hygiene in the cock area is the third way – but then everyone knows that.)
Seriously though, when I'm approached with an opportunity to shag a philandering, ignoramus dickhead, how could I possibly refuse? What a catch!!!
*Anyone that has 247 million friends is no friend of mine.