Years ago, a man offered to be my tongue slave.
Obviously this wasn’t about proving his linguistic dexterity. Rather, it was his suggesting – well, requesting
really – that he had the honour
of lapping between my thighs for hours on end, with no need for me to reciprocate.
The first time he suggested it, I laughed out loud. Lucky for me he couldn’t see or hear me having fits of hysterics, because I was sat at my PC chatting to him on Instant Messenger (these were the days before webcams) (you know, before Google*, YouTube, and definitely before Myfuckingshitspace).
The thought of a man offering to lick me, with no reciprocation expected (or wanted, even), was, at that time in my life, something I had never experienced. In my ignorant youth, I was unaware of the pleasure
of just giving
sexually – of enjoying pleasuring someone else. Sex was, at that point, all about taking
; in my case, men taking, and me not getting anything at all (such a lot has changed since then…)
So, to have a man actually ask
to pleasure me, slowly, with no
expectation for me to return the favour, left me a little shocked. I was intrigued, and for a brief moment I did flirt with the idea, especially when he sent me emails like:
“I want to lick and suck you for hours. All you’d need to do is lie there: my tongue would do all the work.”
I was very tempted to tell him to come round and bury his face between my legs, but something held me back. Besides the usual (internet+sex+stranger=be extra careful), I think it was his increasingly enthusiastic requests that scared me a little:
“How about if I lay on the floor – a cold, uncomfortable floor – and you sat on my face? Don’t worry if I have difficulty breathing: I like that. I want you to use my tongue for your pleasure: I will be your slave”
Er, OK then... Back then I didn’t really understand; now of course, it makes sense: he wanted me to dominate him. This is partly why I never took him up on it – I didn’t understand about the dynamics of power-play in sex; I had yet to learn how enjoyable it could be – from both positions. The thought of dominating someone, or being dominated, made me nervous.
But fast forward to now, things have changed, and I’m having a conversation about him with my friend F.
“I wish I hadn’t been so naïve back then; I really didn’t realise what an opportunity that was…”
“Yup. It’d be so nice to have a bloke like that on demand; one that’ll just eat pussy whenever you want…”
We both sighed and took another gulp of our drinks.
“You know, I’m not such a huge fan of cunnilingus,” I admitted.
F looked at me, incredulous. “Really? Why ever not?”
“Oh I like it, don’t get me wrong. But I prefer penetration: it always gets me off. I find it hard to let go being licked – so I rarely come from it.”
“It’s the opposite for me,” F said. “Give me a licker any day.”
I laughed. “Well, I’ll never turn it down; I just prefer it when I’m in the mood… Like when I’m watching telly or something, he could just be sitting there, chomping away: that would be nice.”
F giggled. “Or when you’re doing emails, he could be kneeling between your legs, giving you a good sucking.”
“It would help me concentrate, I think. I could probably get a lot of work done that way.”
We both sat there, taking in the delicious thought.
“You know,” F said, deliberating, “if you fancied a bit of fun with no-strings attached, I know a couple of guys who’d gladly be your tongue slave.”
“And they’d clean your flat afterwards too…”
“You’re talking about actual slaves
, aren’t you?”
“Well, my flat is
a fucking tip…”
“It’s worth a thought…”
I laughed. “I guess, but I’m looking for a sexual relationship that’s a bit more balanced than that, and a full-time slave isn’t something that appeals to me: I want a man that’ll throw me on my back and fuck me – not one who expects me
to subordinate him
“Who ever said anything about full-time? Once a week should do it.”
“Darling, with the state of my flat right now, he’d need to be eating my pussy every day for a month
, for it to have any effect.”
“Well, with the state of my sex life, daily licking sounds pretty good to me...”
“I suppose if he alternated tonguing me, with using his cock to fuck me, then I might be willing to let him clean my place too...”
“And then you’ll finally invite me over to dinner at your place again: result! Just say the word...”
*prior to 1998, for those who don’t know